Traumatic Brain Injury and Second Chance to Live’s 3 Year Anniversary Part 2

Please read Part 1 for context. Thank you

Epilogue

As Second Chance to Live embarks on year 4 I look forward to hearing from you. If you have any questions, please ask. All questions are good questions. In the event that you have any suggestions — as to how I could improve Second Chance to Live — please let me know. I am interested in hearing your thoughts and ideas.

In the event that you would like me to be a speaker or a presenter at an upcoming event, please let me know. I look forward to being a part of your mission and vision. In the event that you would like me to write an article for your newsletter or journal, please let me know. I would be honored to write such an article.

In conclusion I would like to leave you with one of my favorite quotes. I am encouraged by this quote and I hope you are too. Thank you again for your friendship and for making Second Chance to Live part of your journey.

“If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…You will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau

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Traumatic Brain Injury and Second Chance to Live’s 3 Year Anniversary

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit me. You are always welcome around my table.

On February 6, 2007 — at the encouragement of a friend — I made the decision to enter the world of the bloggoshere to share my experience, strength and hope. My Sensei (martial arts instructor) suggested that I name my web log with my purpose in mind. He gave me several suggestions and I decided to name my web log Second Chance to Live.

I am so glad that I acted upon the encouragement of my friend 3 years ago. I have grown as a person and in my ability to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for me. This article also marks the 550th article that I have written for Second Chance to Live during the past 3 years. I look forward to writing many more articles for Second Chance to Live.

Second Chance to Live has been a tremendous blessing to me. Thank you for your all you kind words of encouragement, your questions and for all of your comments. You are and have been a tremendous blessing to me. Thank you for permitting me to be a part of your process. I have been honored and humbled by the privileged of being  part of your journey. Thank you my friend.

Please read the conclusion in Part 2. Thank you.

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Traumatic Brain Injury and Learning how to Love and Accept Myself Part 2

Please read Part 1 for context. Thank you.

Note:

Several years ago I wrote an article in response to a conversation that I had with a woman who was in the process of breaking up with a friend of mine whose life had been impacted by a brain injury. My friend has since passed away, however what I wrote about in that article can be applied to present day affairs.

During the past 2 1/2 years — since I wrote the article — I have grown in my own self-acceptance through the articles that I have written for Second Chance to Live. My family and close friends have also grown in their awareness and acceptance of me.

And now for Part 2 of the article.

Traumatic Brain Injury and Denial–My Perspective as a TBI Survivor

Posted by secondchancetolive on May 12, 2007

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. You are always welcome around my table. I met with a group of friends tonight. During the time together, I felt led to share some of my struggles as a traumatic brain injury survivor with a friend of mine. My motivation was to provide encouragement and insight from my experience, strength and hope as a traumatic brain injury survivor.

You see, her boyfriend went through a series of treatments several years ago to treat a malignant melanoma. The interferon saved his life, but in the process caused some brain damage. The damage to his brain has limited his ability to function at the level prior to the cancer treatments.

Please read Part 3 of the article for context. Thank you.

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Traumatic Brain Injury and Learning how to Love and Accept Myself

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. I am honored by your presence. Thank you.

Several years ago I wrote an article in response to a conversation that I had with a woman who was in the process of breaking up with a friend of mine whose life had been impacted by a brain injury. My friend has since passed away, however what I wrote about in that article can be applied to present day affairs.

For nearly a year after I wrote the article Traumatic Brain Injury and Denial — My Perspective as a TBI Survivor the article remained the 2nd most widely read article from the articles that I had written for Second Chance to Live . During the past 2 1/2 years — since I wrote the article — I have grown in my own self-acceptance through the articles that I have written for Second Chance to Live. My family and close friends have also grown in their awareness and acceptance of me.

Over the past week I have felt led to share the contents of the article with you. My hope is that in reprinting this article a greater understanding and acceptance will be gained both by individuals who have experienced brain injuries and by those who are in relationships with individuals who have experienced brain injuries.

My goal is not to blame or point the finger in any ones direction. I have found that such activity does no one any good. My interest is to share with you how denial stymied my inability to love and accept myself. My goal is to encourage, motivate, empower and provide hope to individuals who may be in denial — so that they can learn to love and accept themselves.

Note:
In the original print of the article I included the complete article. In this print, I will divide the article into smaller sections.

On February 6, 2010 Second Chance to Live will celebrate a 3 year anniversary. During the past 3 years I have grown in my ability to love and accept myself.  May you also grow in your ability to love and accept yourself as an individual who experienced a brain injury.

Please read Part 1 of the article in Part 2. Thank you.

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Traumatic Brain Injury — How am I seeing Myself? Part 6

Please read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 for context. Thank you.

I also discovered that when I stop comparing my set of circumstances to those of my companions I am free to pursue hope. Hope in turn allows me to recognize that –although I am a brain injury survivor with deficits and limitations — I do not have to be limited by my deficits and limitations.

Hope then encourages me to recognize and consider the possibilities.

Through recognizing and considering the possibilities I am free to pursue my passion — though my gifts, talents and abilities — in ways that work for me. Consequently, I no longer have or need to compare myself to my companions — because I am free to create and to be fully me.

“If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life you have imagined…you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau

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Traumatic Brain Injury — How am I seeing Myself? Part 5

Please read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6 for context. Thank you.

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. In the previous parts of this series I spoke to feeling minimized, marginalized and discounted because I judged my insides through other people outsides.

In parts 3 of the series I spoke to what occurs when I compare myself to other people. In Part 4 of the series I spoke to the power of identification.

Through my process, I discovered several realities. Identification empowers who I am because I am able to learn from the experiences of my companions, instead of judging my experience to those of my companions. Identification empowers who I am because I no longer have to judge my lot in life by what I perceive to be another person’s lot in life.

Therefore, I no longer have to judge my lot in life.

Please read the conclusion to this series in Part 6. Thank you.

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Traumatic Brain Injury — How am I seeing Myself? Part 4

Please read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, and Part 6 for context. Thank you.

Through my process I discovered a series of cause and effects. I will share some of these with you. This list is not exhaustive. After you read my contrasts, get a pen and paper and determine what other contrasts you can add to my list. You may find that you have been berating yourself for no good reason.

Identification as opposed to Comparison

Identification empowers, where as comparison minimizes contribution. Comparison asserts stipulation to inclusion. Comparison mandates that certain criteria be met. Comparison predicates acceptance. Comparison demands compliance. Comparison postulates performance. Comparison shuns that which is different. Identification encourages progress while comparison specifies and expects outcomes. Identification celebrates small successes, whereas comparison, by its nature seeks to invalidate. Identification encourages individuality and motivates self-expression. Identification cultivates creativity.

Individuality is not considered a threat. Status quo is dismissed. Identification empowers and motivates. Identification musters enthusiasm in the face of any discouragement. Identification breaks down the walls of isolation. Alienation is dismissed. Eccentricity is held in esteem. Self-respect, self-esteem, and self-worth no longer need to be qualified. Value and ability is accepted at face value. Identification seeks to reconcile. Identification promotes humility.

As I seek to identify with others I practice love and tolerance. Identification frees my humanity to explore apart from comparison’s dictates. Identification encourages individual expression. Identification encourages hope, where as comparison predicates performance. Identification encourages process. Identification promotes self-confidence. Progress is accepted as a function of seeking to accept both others and one self. As I love and accept myself, I am free to create with my being.

My being and worth is not tied to a specific toy or outcome. I no longer need to keep up with the Jones. I no longer need to chase after external validation. Identifying with others dispels my need to judge. Identification gives me permission to take risks and to scrape my knees in the process. Identification promotes excellence, not perfection. Identification frees me to stay in the moment and to live life on life’s terms. Identification promotes unity.

I am interested to know what other contrasts you may have discovered. If you have any, please share them with me.

Please read Part 5 for context. Thank you.

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Traumatic Brain Injury — How am I seeing Myself? Part 3

Please read Part 1, Part 2, Part 4, Part 5, and Part 6 for context. Thank you.

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. Yesterday I shared with you that I would reprint an article that I wrote several years ago. In the next several part of this article I will share with you what I learned through my process. May you find the freedom to be fully you as you read through the article.

Because of the content in the article, you may want to read the article several times.

The Power of Identification

Posted by secondchancetolive on April 18, 2007

Welcome back and I am so glad you decided to stop by and rest. You are a gift to me. I am fired up about a particular topic today. I have been fired up about this topic for most of my life. As a person with a disability I never quite felt like I was enough or that I measured up. I never quite understood why I did not measure up until I began to understand the insidious nature of comparison. For too long, I measured my worth by the status quo. I allowed the measuring stick of other people to dictate how and what I thought about myself.

When I started treating myself with dignity and respect, I began having spiritual awakenings. One of these awakenings revealed that having a disability challenged the status quo. Although I sought to measure up to expectations, I often fell short. Because I had an acquired brain injury, comparing myself to anyone proved to be pointless. I also discovered that as I sought to compare myself, I denied my humanity.

Please read Part 4 for context. Thank you.

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Traumatic Brain Injury — How am I seeing Myself? Part 2

Please read Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and Part 6 for context. Thank you.

Through my recovery process, I discovered a stark reality. By judging my insides by other people’s outsides I minimize and marginalize myself in both my eyes and in the eyes of other people. Upon further examination I discovered that I minimize and marginalize who I am when I compare myself to other people.

When I compare myself to other people I devalue who I am because I believe that I am enough — because I judge myself for not being more… For many years I minimized and marginalized who I was through a jaded perspective — because I bought into the notion that if I was just…

I continued to berate myself until — through my recovery process — I began to realize what I was doing to myself. Nearly three years ago I published an article that I wrote for Second Chance to Live. In that article I shared what I learned through my process. I will share that article with you over the next several parts of this article.

Let me leave you with a thought.

“My mother said to me, “If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general, if you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.” Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.”  Pablo Picasso

You were created to be wonderfully you — no one else. Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA

Please read Part 3 for context. Thank you.

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Traumatic Brain Injury — How am I seeing Myself? Part 1

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Over the past several days I have been thinking about a reality — that is some times forgotten. You and I are divinely created and called to fulfil a unique role — in our world.

In my experience — for many years — I bought into the notion that my role did not matter. What I had to give seemed to have little value — because no one seemed to want what I had to give. Consequently, I found that my efforts to  give — of who I was — seemed to fall short.  My perception clouded my ability to see reality.

In my discouragement, I disparaged, minimized and marginalized how I saw myself and what I had to offer my world. In the process I found myself judging who I was by how I  perceived my companions.  Consequently, I spent many of my years discouraged, despondent and depressed — because I felt like some one “all dressed up with no where to go”.

With time and through my struggle, I began to make sense of what I had being doing to myself. I began to realize that I had been comparing my insides to other people’s outsides. Through my process, I began to realize what had kept me stuck . I discovered that I had been judging my insides by other people’s outsides.

Please read Part 2 for context. Thank you.

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