Living with a Brain Injury and Celebrating the Little Things

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you mad the decision to stop by to visit with me. Today I want to share some things with you that I need to remember.

“Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things.”
Frank Howard Clark

This quote helps me to remember that I do not have to accomplish something big to have a big impact. Consequently, I can find rest in doing the little things, because the little things make up big things.

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little – do what you can.” Sydney Smith

This quote helps me to remember that although I may only be able to do little, still I can do something. Because I can do something, I can learn to do that something very well.

You don’t have to be a person of influence, to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not aware of the things they’ve taught me. Scott Adams

And this quote helps me to remember that although I may never know the impact of the little things that I do, I can rest assured individuals are learning because of who I am.

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Finding Hope in the midst of Stinking Thinking

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. You are always welcome at my table. During the past 11 days I have experienced periods of negative and stinking thinking. I suspect that my being sick – based on previous experience – contributed to and made me more susceptible to negative and stinking thinking.

As I became aware of my negative and stinking thinking, I began to take steps to curb my negative and stinking thinking. One of these steps involved locating stacks of 3 x 5 cards, upon which I had written a series of motivational and inspiring quotes 5 to 6 years ago. After I located these 3×5 cards, I sat down and began to read through each of these quotes. Among these quotes, one stood out to me.

”My mother said to me, “If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general; if you become a monk you’ll end up as the Pope.” Instead, I became a painter and wound up as a Picasso.” Pablo Picasso (a very famous and renown artist)

As I reflected upon what Pablo stated, I found myself experiencing a shift in my thinking. I found myself inspired to keep my focus. I found myself encouraged to stay committed to my vision and my mission. I found myself being reminded that I do not have to be anyone other than who I am. I found myself motivated to pursue my passion, knowing that by doing so I will wind up becoming fully me.

Instead of becoming what I thought I was meant to do, I wound up becoming an internationally published author and a successfully sought after motivational speaker.

Today’s Thought

If we find ourselves stuck in stinking or negative thinking, we can take steps to curb our thinking. We can move beyond that which is seeking to hold us captive and keep us weighed down.

We can look for rich sources of positive, inspirational and motivational material. We can meditate on those sources and in the process see our perspectives change. By doing so, we can find hope.

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Finding the Clarity that You are Seeking

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. Thank you for taking the time to visit with me. I am honored by your presence. Last night I stepped out to do some reading over a cup of coffee. As I sat in this trendy coffee establishment I remembered a valuable tool that I once used on a regular basis.

As I sat at the table reading my book and sipping my coffee I decided to make use of the tool. So I took out a pen and I opened my notebook and I began to write. As I began to write, that power of the tool became very evident. In the process of writing I gained the clarity that I had been seeking.

What I had been trying to sort out in my mind — throughout the day — became clear on paper.

As I reflected upon my experience – there in the coffee shop – I recalled how many other times my confusion had been turned into clarity. As I reflected upon my experience in the coffee shop I remembered how the tool worked. Let me share what I learned through my experience.

By taking the time to write – not type my thoughts – on a piece of paper something magical happens. My head is able to connect with my heart and my heart is able to connect with my head. As with a meditation – I have found – that my heart speaks to my head and my head speaks to my heart.

As I listen, my heart speaks to my head and my head speaks to my heart. As I listen, I am able to hear what my heart tells my head what my head needs to know. As I listen, I am able to hear what my head tells my heart what my heart needs to do. As I listen, my confusion turns to clarity.

As I listen, I find the clarity that I am seeking — through the words that I write on the piece of paper.

Today’s thought

My encouragement to you my friend, as I need to encourage myself – use the power of the tool and use the tool often. And as you use the tool, listen as your heart speaks to your head and your head speaks to your heart. And as you listen, your confusion will be turned into clarity.

As you listen, you will find the clarity that you are seeking — through the words that you write on the piece of paper.

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How are Your Circumstances Treating You? Part 2

Please read Part 1 for context. Thank you.

Initially, I was bummed – as you might imagine – and then I remembered that I did not lose the power of choice. I could choose to be bummed or I could choose to see my circumstances as a gift. With these 2 choices before me, I decided to see my circumstances as a gift.

With my decision, I made the choice to use my circumstances, rather than be used by my circumstances. I made the choice to be built up by my circumstances, instead of allowing my circumstances to keep me down. I made the decision to be empowered by and to trust the process.

I made the decision to use my time and energy in ways to enhance and empower my process. I made the decision to look at my circumstances through the eyes of possibility. I made the decision to build upon the opportunities found with in my circumstances.

Today’s thought

When circumstances arise in your live – that are out of your control – please ask yourself a question, “How am I allowing my circumstances to treat me?” If the answer is that you are allowing your circumstances to frustrate and keep you down, please use your power to choose. And when you do, please remember that…

you can choose to use your circumstances, instead of being used by your circumstances. You can choose to be built up by your circumstances, instead of allowing your circumstances to keep you down. You can choose to look at your circumstances through the eyes of possibility.

You can choose to build upon the opportunities that are found with in your circumstances.

Epilogue

Although you and I may be powerless over our circumstances, we are not helpless over our ability to choose. Consequently, we can choose to trust the process. We can choose to trust a loving God. We can choose to trust ourselves. We can choose to trust our circumstances.

We can choose to use our time and energy in ways that will empower and enhance our process.

“If you advance confidently in the direction or your dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau

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How are Your Circumstances Treating You? Part 1

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. I am honored by your presence. Thank you. Earlier this week – actually on Monday – I started feeling as though I was getting sick. I decided that I did not want the feeling of being sick to slow me down, so I had a vigorous work out on Monday evening at the Y. On Tuesday, I still felt sick.

On Tuesday, I decided to lay low. Wednesday came and although I was not feeling better, I decided to have another vigorous work out at the Y. I thought that by getting a good sweat, I could purge the bug out of my system. On Thursday morning, I started to have an upper respiratory type cough. At this point I found myself becoming a bit frustrated. I became frustrated because I was not feeling better.

On Thursday afternoon, I decided to call my Dr.’s office to get into see him. An appointment was scheduled for Friday morning. I made the decision to lay low for the rest of the day and wait to see my Dr. in the morning. When I met with my Dr., he told me that I had a virus which could not be treated by antibiotics. Zeesk. The news revealed that I was going to have wait and let the virus run its course. The Dr. confirmed what I had working on me would be contagious.

With this news, I began to wrestle with several realities. The virus was going to slow me down and in actually take me out of the game for a while. What this meant to me was that: I would not be able to work out or train for at least another week. I would have to limit my contact with people until I got better. I would have to suspend my social activities for the coming week.

Please read Part 2 for context. Thank you.

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Living with a brain injury and Feeling like a Broken Toy

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Several weeks ago I wrote a series in which I shared with you that I had made a decision to take greater risks. In that series, I shared with you how I took the risk to use the principle of asking for help. I took the risk to ask for help to improve upon my skills when interacting in social settings.

During the past several weeks, I have had an opportunity to attend other meet up group events. On these occasions, I have been able to add to my skill set through continuing to take the risk to ask for help. Consequently – in the process of taking these risks – I have grown in awareness. In the process, I have gained a whole new perspective through interacting with other individuals in social settings.

In the process, I have grown in self-awareness. In the process, I have grown in my ability to accept myself in social settings. In my process, I have begun to experience a new freedom.

As a recovering perfectionist, I have a tendency – at times – to think in black and white / all or none extremes. One of these extremes has led me to believe that I am terminally unique. In the belief that I am terminally unique, I some times see myself as the only broken toy in the toy box. During the past several weeks I have had a spiritual awakening. I am not the only broken toy in the tool box.

My spiritual awakening has come, not by a judgment of other toys, but by realizing that I live among other broken toys. Other broken toys – like me – who are doing the best that they know how to do – just for today. With my awareness, I am discovering how to relax in social settings, while being myself. In the process, I am discovering how to work on skill sets with out buy into the notion that I am terminally unique.

Through realizing that I am not the only broken toy in the toy box, I am able to relax and be myself. I am able to grow in self-awareness and self-acceptance while I practice new skills sets in social settings.

Here is my Contact Page. Send comments or questions and I will respond to you.

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Do not Underestimate Your Ability To…

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. I have been thinking about several quotes and wanted to share those quotes with you. May you be encouraged — as I have been encouraged – as you ponder these quotes.

“Remember, there is no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” Scott Adams

“Do what you can , with what you have, where you are.” Theodore Roosevelt

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” Helen Keller

“You do not have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.” Scott Adams

“Do not judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.” Robert Louis Stevenson

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” John Wooden

“Perseverance is not a long race: it is many races, one after another.” Walter Eliott

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Ghandi

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A Personal Struggle – Waiting for the Call that Never Came

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. Thank you for taking the time to stop by to visit with me. Today, I want to share with you a personal struggle – that I faced for many years of my life. For many years of my life I bought into the notion that I could not effectively use my gifts, talents and abilities with out first having the external validation of groups, organizations and associations.

Consequently, I spent many years of my life waiting for the “call”. In the process of waiting for the CALL, I slowly painted myself into the corner of a box.

In the process of my waiting to be recognized, affirmed, approved and validated I found that I had bought into several faulty notions and limiting scripts. These notions and scripts sought to convince me that only a group, organization or association could lead me from the corner of my box. Because I never “received the stamp of approval” l bought into the notion that no one wanted what I had to give.

In my experience – and as I bought into these notions and scripts – I found myself feeling like someone who was all dressed up with nowhere to go and that no one wanted what I had to bring to the table of life. In the process, I devalued both my vision and mission. In the process, I gave away my power and what I valued as an individual. In the process, I lost sight of my creative self.

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” Carl Bard

Through a series of events I woke up to the reality that I was wasting my time. I began to realize that no group, organization or association could keep me in the confines of the box. I began to realize that I was the only one who could keep me in the confines of the box. I began to realize that I could move beyond the corner of the box. I began to realize that I could move outside of the box.

“Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” Mother Teresa

With my awareness, I made several decisions. I made the decision to move beyond the confines of my box. I made the decision to value my mission and my vision. I made the decision to pursue my passion through my mission and vision. I made the decision to begin using my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for me. I made the decision to be fully me. I made the decision to be creatively free.

“Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman

Today’s thought

My encouragement to you my friend is to follow your passion, vision and mission. Do not wait for some group, organization or association to recognize, affirm, approve or validate your gifts, talents and abilities. Use your gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for you… And as you use your gifts, talents and abilities be encouraged to be fully you. And as you are fully you – be creatively free.

“To live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong.” Joseph Chilton Pearce

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Living with a brain injury and Overcoming the Fear of Failure Part 3

Please read Part 1 and Part 2 for context. Thank you.

As I examined the lie, I discovered that I had an arch nemesis. I discovered that my arch nemesis was perfectionism.

In my search for the truth – to be set free from the lie – I discovered that my inability to be at peace with myself was because of the voice of perfectionism. I discovered that perfectionism played a subversive role in the undermining of my sense of adequacy and my sense of security. Perfectionism, in essence, played the role of a critical parent who intentionally sought to scold, reprimand and criticize my best efforts. Perfectionism kept me subservient through subjecting me to approval seeking and people pleasing.

Perfectionism manipulated me through shame. Perfectionism scolded and reprimanded me for not being enough,“You Should Have Already Mastered Everything”.

Perfectionism conditioned me to believe that I deserved to be criticized and shamed regardless of my efforts. Perfectionism conditioned me to believe that I should also join in the efforts to criticize, belittle and minimize my efforts, as well as who I was as a person. Perfectionism — in collusion with my inner critic – kept me striving as I attempted to meet the expectations of other critical people. Unknowingly, in my attempt to satisfy the demands of perfectionism and the critical voices in my life, I lost myself.

Because I used much my time and energy to appease the critics in my life – in an attempt to find peace – I had little time to notice, address or deal with elephants as they appeared in my life. Through a series of events, I reached an emotional bottom which led me to discover what I had been doing to myself. With my spiritual awakening, I slowly began to break free from the constraints set forth by my arch nemesis. In the process, I began to slowly step back from the demands set forth by critical people.

As I broke free from the constraints set forth by perfectionism, I found peace. As I stepped back from the demands of critical people, I began to experience my life in a whole new way. I found that doing no longer had to be done perfectly. As I broke free from the grasp of perfectionism, I discovered that I could overcome my fear of failure. Through my process, I discovered that I could overcome my fear of failure by securing the lens of manageable bites and by remembering that I am the manager of those bites.

I have been able to overcome my fear of failure, by remembering that I am in process.

“Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment.” Zig Ziglar

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Living with a brain injury and Freedom to be Independent

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. Happy 4^th of July to you and your family. The 4^th of July is a day to commemorate independence and the freedom. The independence and freedom to exercise the freedom to be who we are and the freedom to use our gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for us. As with our forefathers, we have been given the opportunity to follow our dreams and to live our lives in a way that we imagined. In my experience, I have learned several lessons.

Freedom and Independence open doors to possibilities on a daily basis. Freedom and Independence give and provide the opportunity and the power to open and then walk through those doors. In my experience I have found that whether I walk through those doors is solely my choice – because I am the only one who can live my life. When I forget to remember that I have that power – the power to choose – I invariably set myself up to believe that I am being victimized by life and by my circumstances.

A little over 3 years ago I wrote an article under the title of Painting your Portrait {AKA} This is Not a Dress rehearsal. Over the past several days I have been thinking about the contents of the article. On this 4^th of July, please allow me to share part of that article with you my friend. Thank you. May both you and your family have a safe and empowering 4^th of July.

Painting your Portrait {AKA} This is Not a Dress rehearsal

What an odd title. Painting your Portrait {aka} This is Not a Dress Rehearsal. The title sounds like a mystery novel made into a movie. However, I am not talking about something made in Hollywood. Look a little closer. That is right. I am talking about your and my life. Our lives are precious. We get to choose how we experience the journey. Choice gives us the responsibility to get involved with our lives. Wow. You mean I get to choose. Most definitely!

You may say to yourself or to other people, “You don’t know what I have too…” or “You don’t know how I…”or “If you only knew I …” To be honest with you, I have made similar statements during my life time. My challenge was to stop making excuses and begin living life on life’s terms. I would also encourage you to stop letting your “what”, “how”, and “only” be the reason why you hesitate. If you believe you are stuck in a box, learn how to be happy in that box.

If you can not find contentment living with in that box, find ways to use your creative energy. Use your creative energy to learn to live outside of that box. Use you creative energy — in ways that work for you — to maximize your quality of living. Use your creative energy to follow your dreams. Use your creative energy to live the life that you have imagined — because our lives are not dress rehearsals.

“If you don’t like something, change it; if you can not change it, change the way you think about it.” Mary Engelbreit

“If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau

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