What is Around the Bend?

Greetings to all who visit and read my posts. I am truly honored by your visits and the comments that you graciously leave. What you have to share truly enriches my life. I hope you are doing well today and having fun too. Life is a gift that has been given to explore.

I am encouraged by the fact that I do not know what is around the bend. I know that it is going to be for my ultimate good. I do not know where it is going to take me. What I have come to realize is that life is teaching me to be an actor, rather than a reactor to what comes my way. I have also found that it is taking me to places that I could not have otherwise imagined and I am encouraged.

I have used it in the preceding paragraph several times. I have made it in bold print for a specific reason. It , in this context is used to signify anticipation. Anticipation mixed with hope motivates me to take advantage of what has been given to me today. I have included a page from my book, Table Topics for the Soul — Journey to the Heart below. LC Registration #: TXu1-330-434 Copyright © 2007

May you be encouraged to take advantage of the IT in your life, one day at a time. Please do not forget, You are a Gift to Your World!

Opportunity
Wonder is before me waiting to be experienced. New doors are waiting to be opened. Opportunities are like a door handle that can be grasped with eager anticipation. When I take the risk to turn the knob, I find myself starring into fresh possibilities. When I see the attainable, my destiny takes on new form. In so doing, I build upon my skills, talents and abilities that have been given to me. Small successes become the foundation upon which I grow and develop. In this cycle, more opportunities become apparent.

I like the image of a tapestry. On one side, there is a jumbled group of multi-colored threads. By looking at this side, one could become disgruntled, discouraged, disillusioned, and disheartened. But there is hope on the other side of the panel. I begin to see clearly, why each thread is placed with intricacy. A vivid story is being told.

This metaphor helps me to understand that although I may not always know the benefit of such opportunities, as they become apparent I can trust the process. Consequently, prudence encourages me to take full advantage of the opportunities that are given to me. I am then able to rest in the now, because I believe more will be revealed with time.

All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA

So You think You are Alone

The state of being alone can be perceived as a threat or a blessing. I have come to understand the distinction lies initially in the unconscious. Early in the child’s development, being alone is often linked to being helpless. Without the proactive interaction and support from the caregiver, their needs will go unmet. Through being dependent, vulnerability is forever linked to having and getting those needs met. The child also learns that keeping the caregiver happy is often directly related to whether their needs are met. This association may only be on a subconscious level, but becomes consciously understood. When the caregiver seeks to have their emotional needs met through the child, the child suffers emotionally. They learn that having there emotional needs met is secondary to pleasing the caregiver. As the individual grows into their teenage years and beyond, this belief (I have to make other people OK, before I can be OK) may continue.

With this said, I learned that in order to avoid being alone I needed to anticipate, adjust and then satisfy the needs–or expectations—of those around me. In the event that I was not successful in this venture, I would experience rejection and loneliness. What I had learned at an early age (because they did not have the right information at that time) was consciously being acted out in my adult life. Unconsciously, I also sought out women (who were often emotionally incapable of reciprocating) believing that if I met their emotional needs, they would in turn do so for me. When this did not happen, I would again feel incapable of meeting my own needs.

I continued to experience ongoing loneliness, until I started to understand (through doing my work) that I did not have to “fix” anyone to be able to have my emotional needs met. I have also learned that if I am waiting to successfully make anyone “OK”, in order to be “OK” with me, I will never truly be “OK” with me. I need to remember that if I start to believe that I am alone, because I have not fulfilled someones expectation, I am on a slippery slope. Being alone has become a venue for being rejuvenated and refreshed. I now gain strength and my center in the alone space. I am no longer alone, because I am present with me.

All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA