The Power of Identification
Posted by secondchancetolive on April 18, 2007
Welcome back and I am so glad you decided to stop by and rest. You are a gift to me. I am fired up about a particular topic today. I have been fired up about this topic for most of my life. As a person with a disability I never quite felt like I was enough or that I measured up. I never quite understood why I did not measure up until I began to understand the insidious nature of comparison. For too long, I measured my worth by the status quo. I allowed the measuring stick of other people to dictate how and what I thought about myself.
When I started treating myself with dignity and respect, I began having spiritual awakenings. One of these awakenings revealed that having a disability challenged the status quo. Although I sought to measure up to expectations, I often fell short. Because I had an acquired brain injury, comparing myself to anyone proved to be pointless. I also discovered that as I sought to compare myself, I denied my humanity.
Through my process I discovered a series of cause and affects. I will share some of these with you. This list is not exhaustive. After you read my contrasts, get a pen and paper and determine what other contrasts you can add to my list. You may find that you have been berating yourself for no good reason.
Identification as opposed to Comparison
Identification empowers, where as comparison minimizes contribution. Comparison asserts stipulation to inclusion. Comparison mandates that certain criteria be met. Comparison predicates acceptance. Comparison demands compliance. Comparison postulates performance. Comparison shuns that which is different. Identification encourages progress while comparison specifies and expects outcomes. Identification celebrates small successes, whereas comparison, by its nature seeks to invalidate. Identification encourages individuality and motivates self-expression. Identification cultivates creativity.
Individuality is not considered a threat. Status quo is dismissed. Identification empowers and motivates. Identification musters enthusiasm in the face of any discouragement. Identification breaks down the walls of isolation. Alienation is dismissed. Eccentricity is held in esteem. Self-respect, self-esteem, and self-worth no longer need to be qualified. Value and ability is accepted at face value. Identification seeks to reconcile. Identification promotes humility.
As I seek to identify with others I practice love and tolerance. Identification frees my humanity to explore apart from comparison’s dictates. Identification encourages individual expression. Identification encourages hope, where as comparison predicates performance. Identification encourages process. Identification promotes self-confidence. Progress is accepted as a function of seeking to accept both others and one self. As I love and accept myself, I am free to create with my being.
My being and worth is not tied to a specific toy or outcome. I no longer need to keep up with the Jones. I no longer need to chase after external validation. Identifying with others dispels my need to judge. Identification gives me permission to take risks and to scrape my knees in the process. Identification promotes excellence, not perfection. Identification frees me to stay in the moment and to live life on life’s terms. Identification promotes unity.
I am interested to know what other contrasts you may have discovered. If you have any, please share them with me.
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Sherri said
“as I sought to compare myself, I denied my humanity.”
This has also been true for me, an uninjured, “normal” person. Though our situations seem different on the surface, we may actually be on the same journey. A lot of people would benefit from your wisdom.
Judy Reid said
Right on! I never thought of it before but you are so right. This is where we actually begin to appreciate and enjoy the “essence” of each individual person – even their flaws because that is what truly makes them unique.
Rosa said
I love your writings I am a case worker for tbi Patients and I really appreciate your site. Sending you alot of love.
secondchancetolive said
Hi Rosa,
Thank you for your words of encouragement. You are a blessing to me my friend. I have 199 published articles on Second Chance to Live presently. You can find a list of them in my Site Map Rosa. I am going to write my 200th article in the next several days. Although not all of my titles have Traumatic Brain Injury or Disability in their titles I share principles to encourage, motivate and empower throughout all of my articles.
In the event that you know of groups or organizations that would benefit from my experience, strength and hope I am available for speaking engagements. Please have them contact me via a comment or email Rosa.
Thank you again for your kindness. God bless you.
Have a simply amazing day my friend.
Craig
Dawn said
I discovered 2 years ago that I had a brain haemorrhage when I was 9 yrs old. i lost all my co-ordination, balance and had slurred speach. This had previously been explained to me as the result of a virus, but recently while on a self-defence course I passed out through fear and then over the next few weeks had massive flashbacks which revealed I had been attacked and raped as a child. I have no memory of this whatsoever, and feel extremely confused, and my family deny that anything happened to me, just that I somehow banged my head. I have just come out of a nasty relationship that triggered some stuff off within me. Now I suffer post-traumatic symtoms, although have been partly desensitised by my classes. i have no-one to talk to about this, and feel alone. I’m training to be a psychologist – the irony!