My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability – Part 4
Posted by secondchancetolive on August 19, 2007
For context please read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3. Thank you.
As I shared in the 3rd installment of this series, the injury to my right frontal lobe (executive center functioning) limits my ability to read many subtleties and social nuances in “real time”. The more time I have to spend interacting with the second and third groups of people that I talked about in, My Struggle living with an Invisible Disability – Part 1 my stress level increases. When I am stressed beyond my limits my ability to monitor and manage external stimuli decreases.
Mental and emotional fatigue decreases my ability to read and interpret ongoing social interactions in real time, which can in turn lead to my being misunderstood.
With continued and ongoing interactions my relationships can come under strain, especially as I become fatigued and stressed. In the event that people do not understand or want to accept that I have limitations and deficits because of the damage to my brain, they can become confused. Their confusion can lead to various scenarios. In some instances people will avoid interacting with me, because to do so sometimes requires more energy.
In other instances, I am either overtly or covertly criticized for my inability to interact in real time. Both scenarios prove to be uncomfortable because they lead me to believe there is something inherently wrong with me. Both scenarios do not factor in the significance of my invisible disability. Therefore, I have learned that I need limit both my interactions and the amount of time that I spend with some people, especially with individuals who insist on denying and minimizing my reality.
In these scenario’s I seek to be kind and considerate, however I have learned to limit the time I spend with those individuals.
My desire to bring about win-win outcomes teaches me to honor my limitations. When I honor my limitations I honor my relationships. Consequently, I have come to respect my limitations and value the abilities I possess. Because I have experienced the consequences of not respecting my limitations I made the decision to not place myself in a situation that would invariably produce a lose-lose outcome. In my attempt to provide a win-win outcome I decided to spend 2-3 weeks at the second location.
Through making the decision to spend my time at the second location, I was told that I never wanted to help the parties move in the first place. In reality, because I needed to respect my limitations, and because of previous information I received from the parties who will be moving, I made the decision to spend my time at the second location. The second location quickly became my priority because of love.
My prayer is that the matter I have shared throughout this 4 part series will be resolved in peace. Your prayers would also be highly valued. My struggle living with an invisible disability certainly has and continues to be a tool for instruction. I am grateful for the opportunities that my unique set of circumstances provides, because my circumstances are not meant to keep me down but they are provided to build me up.
As an empowered individual, I can live life on life’s terms because I know that more will be revealed.
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