Traumatic Brain Injury and the Mission

Hi friend and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy you decided to stop by and visit with me. You are always welcomed at my table. As a youth, I remember watching the television show, Mission Impossible. At the beginning of the show the familiar scene showed members of the team listening to a tape, looking at pictures and being told about specific scenarios. Once the instructions were given a familiar statement was provided to the team. This is your mission, if you choose to accept it.

Life is interesting because we are given a set of circumstances that we can choose to accept or reject. Sometimes those circumstances may seem to be unfair or even ridiculous given the course we had set for our lives. Our efforts to follow the map we had constructed seem to be thrashed by the circumstances presented by our reality. We may have wanted to be dealt another set of cards to play in life. I remember when I woke from my 3 week long coma I thought I was in a bad dream.

My reality became apparent when I reached up and felt the right side of my forehead to find that my skull was depressed like a shallow bowl. I then found that my left leg was elevated in traction because my left femur had been fractured during the time of the car accident. At the age of 10, I was thrust into my mission. I had no idea at the time of the car accident that my destiny would evolve through my being a traumatic brain injury survivor.

The experiences, circumstances and opportunities during the past 40 years have prepared me fulfill my present day mission. During these 40 years I have had a multitude of other missions, some of which I have liked and many that I have not understood, appreciated or valued. As an individual with an invisible disability I have found myself confused, doubtful and despondent at times. Please read My Motivation. Nevertheless, more has been revealed in time.

Through my process I have found that my sorrow has been turned into joy and my struggle has been turned into triumph. I am not subservient to my disability, deficits or limitations. Rather, I have learned how to use my gifts, talents and abilities in order to fulfill my present day mission. Although I do not know what tomorrow’s mission will be, I have learned to trust the process and to complete today’s mission to the best of my ability. I am not my traumatic brain injury, functional limitations or deficits but someone who has a mission to complete.

You may be or know someone who is a traumatic brain injury. Consequently, you may be discouraged and despondent. I have been there too my friend. I want to encourage you to stay focused on your present day mission. Just for today, that may mean learning to move just one of your digits on your right of left hand. To you that mission may appear to be insignificant, but let me assure you that mission is not insignificant. That seemingly small mission will prepare you to fulfill tomorrow’s mission, which in turn will lead you to the mission of your destiny.

My experience has shown that each of my prior missions has empowered me to fulfill today’s mission. Today’s mission prepares me to fulfill my destiny.

So when you find yourself waking up to your reality each day, be encouraged. You are being deployed to fulfill your mission for this present day. If you are in a hospital or rehabilitation facility then your mission is to get well. Your mission is just as important as anyone else’s mission in the field my friend. You need not minimize or marginalize the importance of your mission. You are being prepared for wonderful missions yet to be revealed in your future. Those missions will in turn lead you to live your dreams and to fulfill the destiny for which you were created, one day at a time.

If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. Henry David Thoreau.

All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA

Traumatic Brain Injury and the Elephant

Hi, and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. You are always welcome at my table. While training at the martial arts school earlier today, Sensei (Instructor) had the brown and black belts drill round kicks, followed by tornado kicks. We drilled these kicks with a partner and a focus pad. Which each series of kicks I was encouraged by my ability to execute the tornado kick with accuracy and height. A tornado kick is likened to a spinning crescent kick, which requires coordination, agility and timing. I was particularly encouraged by the progress I made because I have not always been able to execute a round kick followed by a tornado kick.

I use the above illustration, not to draw attention to my ability, but to convey a principle. The principle may seem obvious to some and being able to execute a tornado kick may not be a big deal to other people. When I first began training at the martial arts school I had limited coordination which limited my ability to perform any kicks, much less a tornado kick. When I watched more advanced students demonstrate tornado kicks I was amazed by their grace and agility. When I attempted to mimic the ability of the advanced students I looked and felt extremely clumsy. What became apparent was that my leg strength did not support my ability to perform tornado kicks. I had not yet developed the necessary muscle memory to perform tornado kicks.

Rather than becoming discouraged and despondent I made a decision to develop my leg strength and muscle memory. Through my decision I decided to drill and drill again and then drill some more. Because of my limitations and deficits I knew I needed to spend additional time and attention to drilling. In my process as a martial artist I had to spend more time at the Y developing my leg strength to improve and enhance my balance. The combination of drilling my kicks and increasing my leg strength significantly improved my ability to execute tornado kicks. I am not suggesting that my tornado kicks are stellar in appearance or delivery, but I have determined to deal with my elephant. I may never be able to execute a tornado kick flawlessly, but I know that my tornado kicks are looking and feeling better with each new day.

You may have a desire to improve in your physical rehabilitation or in some other area of your recovery process. I have found that the journey of a thousand mile begins with the first step. Unless we decide to take the first step and then keep moving we may never see our desires and dreams come to fruition. I have heard the question asked, “How do you eat an elephant?” The immensity of the elephant can appear to be overwhelming. Rather than being discouraged I can chose to look for a solution. The impossible becomes attainable when I follow the principle in the answer to that question, “One bite at a time.”

When I view my elephant, such as improving a tornado kick as manageable through bites, I find encouragement to keep chewing. You may have seen your elephant as overwhelming and daunting. You may have asked yourself the question, “What is the point?” The elephant is just too big. My encouragement to you my friend is to work with your therapist and do the drills to improve your skill. As you stay committed to your process the immensity of your elephant will be reduced to bones and you will grow stronger with each bite. Before long you will look back in your recovery and rehabilitation process and see how far you have come. We grow because we respect the elephant, but refuse to give up on our process, on a loving God or on ourselves, because we know that our circumstances are not meant to keep us down, but to build us up!

All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA

Traumatic Brain Injury and Ignorance

Hi, and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. Thank you for honoring me with your presence. I have been in a funky place over the last 3-4 days. I have been mulling over reasons for my unrest, but could not put my finger on any specific reason until tonight. I have shared at length in my 4 part series, My Struggle Living with an Invisible Disability some personal awareness. I do not choose to point the finger in anyone’s direction, as that is very unproductive. As an empowered being I choose to own my “funkiness” as I explore my humanity. In my 2 part series, Having an Invisible Disability – The Consequence of Denying my Reality I elaborate on how I need to own my reality. I believe my “funkiness” was due to my buying in to a denial system earlier in the week. The denial system insinuates that I “should be” more than I can be today.

When I do not own my reality, I am susceptible to buying into a denial system that wants me to believe that I should not be impacted by the injury to my traumatic brain injury. Earlier this evening I read something that keyed the notion that typified that sentiment. The assertion stipulated that I unduly need help sorting large amounts of information. My reality is that I have problems sequencing information. I believe a lack of information or ignorance led the person to assume that I am “wasting peoples time” to help me understand. Part of me shakes my head like the duck in the TV and radio commercial that says “Aflack”. The other part of me becomes incensed by the belittling and condescending implication presented by the notion that because I have a brain injury I need to have my hand held. Where is the dignity or the grace in comments that come from a lack of information?

When I was in graduate school, one of my professors elaborated on the need for people with disabilities to educate people with out disabilities. As a master’s level rehabilitation counselor, who maintained my national credentials as a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor (CRC) for over 10 years, prior to being deemed disabled from the work force I have a strong opinion. We as people with traumatic brain injuries need to educate those individuals in our world who have not experienced a brain injury with our realities. Through owning our reality and by sharing how the injury to our brain has impacted our lives we are empowered. As we own our reality, we no longer need to cower in insecurity for what we now need to learn or grow as individuals who are brain injury survivors. We do not have to make excuses or justifications for our learning disabilities or limitations.

Please be advised that not all people will be willing to understand. My experience has proven that some people will have ears to hear while other people will not. In my 4 part series as mentioned above I discuss 4 types of people. You may find yourself discouraged and despondent because some people refuse to understand. I have been there too my friend. I have spent many hours attempting to educate some people, without success. I have learned, through my experience that I need to let those people believe what they want to believe. Some people are not capable of understanding or willing to empathize with our learning disabilities, deficits or limitations. They may instead — as I have had done to me — want to minimize your reality for various reasons. You may have people in your world that want you to measure up to their unrealistic expectations. Be encouraged my friend. You do not have to be more than you are today.

Table Topics for the Soul – Journey to the Heart. © Copyright 2006 Registration #: TXu1-330-434 — all rights reserved

Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully

Hi, and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am glad to see you decided to stop by and visit with me. As a traumatic brain injury survivor I struggle with a sense of inadequacy at times. At times I listen to messages that seem to challenge me for not being more than I am today. I am encouraged to be more but for some reason I simply do not believe I can be more. Innuendoes of shame in these messages trigger the notion that I am not enough, I don’t do enough and that I am unlovable. Unconsciously shame seeks to discredit my desire to succeed in life through minimizing my best efforts. Please read my post, Whose Shame are you Carrying?

Shame seeks to keep me distracted by a faulty notion so that I will not achieve my creative potential.

As a person with an invisible disability, I allowed the message of shame to bully me for many years. The shame bully controlled and manipulated my every move. Shame told me that my good was never good enough. Although I attempted to appease the bully, I seldom believed that my good was ever good enough. Consequently my self-esteem, self-worth and self-image were constantly undermined. In my struggle to prevent the bully from attacking my value as a person, I expended huge amounts of emotional, physical and spiritual resources.

Through my process of healing from the effects of shame I found that the voice of perfectionism – your good is never good enough — to be a cruel taskmaster. My ability to heal and grow emotionally, spiritually and physically was stymied by the demands of unrealistic expectations. Over time I recognized that my internal energy was being diverted away from developing my creative capacity in order to avoid being attacked by the bully. Through recognizing how shame was draining my life I was motivated to look for solutions. These solutions enabled me to slowly heal on a spiritual, emotional and physical level.

In my experience, I had to begin healing from the affects of shame before I could hope to live life on life’s terms. As I mentioned above, I still am susceptible to the message that shame wants to exploit. The good news is that I no longer need to be held hostage by the bully. I no longer need to internalize the lie that I am not enough. Through accepting that my circumstances are not meant to keep me down, I am encouraged to look for solutions. Although shame may want to bully me I no longer need to pay attention to its taunts. I am released from the grasp of the bully through learning to be empowered through my circumstances, experiences and opportunities.

Note: Guilt is different than shame. If you made a mistake you can make an amends and thus resolve guilt. Shame on the other hand is a being wound which leads the person to believe that they just don’t make mistakes, but that they are a mistake. The tendency to over achieve and develop a sense of grandiosity or to under achieve and develop a sense of helplessness is often a response observed in people who have been bullied by shame. Being bullied by shame can lead to a learned helplessness, which in turn undermines the individual’s potential to pursue their destiny.

Table Topics for the Soul – Journey to the Heart. © Copyright 2006 Registration #: TXu1-330-434 — all rights reserved

In Pursuit of Destiny

Hi friend and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. Over time I have had a lot of interest in my articles within Second Chance to Live that address finding and living ones destiny. Recently I had a visitor ask several questions concerning the topic of finding destiny, living and then teaching others how to find and live their destinies. I do not proclaim to be an authority on finding and living one’s destiny, beyond the scope of my experience, strength and hope. Nevertheless, I have arrived at specific conclusions that have enabled me to live life on life’s terms. Below are the three questions that were presented in the comment.

1. Is destiny a desire that every man must achieve?
2. How can I achieve my goals?
3. How can I teach people how to achieve their goals and find their destiny?

I believe the desire to pursue one’s destiny is a personal choice. I believe that each person has been created with unique gifts, talents, abilities, meaning and purpose. I believe that to live is to create and to create is to use those gifts, talents and abilities with in and through our specific set of circumstances. Through out Second Chance to Live the majority of my articles or published material – please see my Site Map –talk about how to find and live our destinies. Using our creative uniqueness provides the venue to explore and experience our destiny, one day a time. One particular quote practically sums up the answer to the question.

“When I was a child, my mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general. If you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.’ Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.” Pablo Picasso

Our destinies become apparent, as we are able to BE not DO in life. Being then becomes the expression of who we are in this life. The beauty of Pablo Picasso’s art grew from his gifts, talents and abilities, which he developed and used during his lifetime. I believe our destinies become apparent, as Mr. Picasso’s destiny became apparent — through his art — as we live the life we were created to create with the life we have be given to live. Please read my post, Whose life are you living? Our destinies become more obvious as we learn from the lessons that are provided by the circumstances we are given. Opportunities become the vehicle to experience our destinies. Please read my post, Following your bliss…regardless.

Consequently, I believe that teaching people to find their destinies can be summed up in teaching them how to find their bliss. Following one’s bliss, I believe evolves out of learning to trust the process, a loving God and who we were created to become one day at a time. Finding and then living my destiny therefore becomes a journey not a destination. Because I can not look into the future all I can do is commit myself to becoming my best today. Pursuing excellence, rather than perfection then becomes the goal while I am pursuing my destiny. Through pursuing excellence I am able to grow from my experiences, rather than punishing myself for not being perfect.

I have not failed 700 times. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work. Thomas Edison

I also believe that a person’s destiny becomes known through trial and error. What enhances my journey may not work for another person. Some lessons that effectively point me in the direction of my destiny take longer for me to learn through my process. My willingness to stay committed to my learning process invariably opens the door to a wealth of opportunities that prepare me to live my destiny. Through being solution curious my creativity motivates me to pursue my destiny despite my disappointments. In my experience, finding my destiny or bliss has been progressive in nature. Tenacity encourages me to press on during times of discouragement. Persistence motivates me to keep moving in the direction of my destiny when to wallow in self-pity would be an option.

Table Topics for the Soul – Journey to the Heart. © Copyright 2006 Registration #: TXu1-330-434 — all rights reserved

Traumatic Brain Injury and Transition

Hi, and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am so glad you decided to stop by and visit with me. You are always welcome at my table. I received a comment today from a parent of a son who experienced a traumatic brain injury several months ago. She wanted to thank me for the material I wrote in yesterday’s post, Traumatic Brain Injury and Limitation. I have been thinking about her comment and wanted to share some reflective thoughts with you. My motivation is to encourage you to be gentle with your process.

After I became aware of the significance of my brain injury, I went through a grieving process. I wanted to deny the significance of the injury to my brain. I then spent time being angry over what I became powerless over, my limitations and deficits. I then spent time attempting to disprove to myself and to other people the significance of how my brain injury impacted my world. When I realized that I was indeed disabled because of my brain injury I went through an extensive period of depression and sadness.

Please understand that the conclusions and the encouragement that I share in Second Chance to Live did not come over night. I transitioned through a tremendous amount of discouragement, disappointment and emotional heart ache over the years before I was able to embrace what I share with you. Please read My Motivation . I still have my times of discouragement and depression, but I realize that I have a future and a hope. I have come to realize that the dark clouds pass with time.

When I reached the stage of acceptance in my grieving process I began to accept myself. The process of accepting who I am – as a person who is a traumatic brain injury survivor – helped me to stop fighting against myself.  The process of grieving the loss of my dreams, hopes and expectations released me to live in the now. When I let go of how I thought my life was supposed to look my eyes slowly opened to reveal my reality.

Accepting my reality has given me a new hope, released me to dream again and has given me the courage to trust that I will be given what I need and that I will fulfill my destiny. When I was able to accept my reality I was able to begin looking for solutions in spite of being a traumatic brain injury survivor. Through my process, I have learned to take advantage of the opportunities that become available to me. Although I may not have the big picture, I have learned to feel my feelings, to trust the process and to trust a loving God who cries with me when I cry.

I have also come to realize that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Determination, persistence and tenacity have become my close friends. I no longer see my limitations as a limitation. My deficits have become the possibilities of my creativity. My disappointments are being turned into my dreams. I am encouraged to learn from my present circumstances because I know that they are leading me to my destiny.

I would encourage you to grieve the loss of your dreams, your hope’s and your expectations. Those loses are very real. Denying what has changed because of your  traumatic brain injury survivor will only protect you for a time. Your anger is justified by what you can not understand. I have been there too my friend. I have felt like a man in a very dark room attempting to find the switch to turn on the lights. Your sadness is warranted and welcomed through your experience. You will learn to use your anger for good.

The good news is that you will find your switch and you will learn to thrive. You will learn to use your gifts, talents and abilities to fulfill your dreams. You do not have to compare your journey with anyone’s journey. You are on a road of wonder and you will find your way. Please read my post, Following your bliss…regardless. You are learning wonderful lessons my friend. Those lessons are preparing you to fulfill the dreams you have always had in your heart. Take comfort my friend, more will be revealed.

Table Topics for the Soul – Journey to the Heart. © Copyright 2006 Registration #: TXu1-330-434 — all rights reserved

Traumatic Brain Injury and Limitations

Hi, and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy you decided to stop by and visit with me. You are always welcome at my table. Through my martial arts training I am learning various principles that have direct applications to living my life as a traumatic brain injury survivor. My balance has been impacted by the injury to my brain. I work on strengthening my legs and improving my balance however I may never be able to effectively execute specific types of kicks. As a short stocky man my arms and legs are shorter than many of the other students who train at the martial school. Being short, in addition to having balance issues puts me at a disadvantage.

Rather than being discouraged about what I can not do, I focus on what I can accomplish given my stature and limitations.

Several months ago I asked my Sensei how I could best spar and grapple people who are taller and heavier than I am during class. He told me that I would learn through the experience of grappling taller and heavier people. My Sensei stated a very simple, but profound truth, “What may work for me, may not work for you.” Although I heard what he was saying, I still wanted him to give me clarity. He again stated that I would have to learn through my experience. As I have continued to free grapple (using technique and strength) I have learned how to use my stature and balance to work for me when working with taller and heavier opponents. I am definitely still learning, however I have made significant gains because I have learned to use what I have been given.

As an individual with an invisible disability I have had to learn to accept my limitations rather than fighting against them.

Through accepting my limitations, I have learned how to use those limitations to improve upon the skills I have been given. I can not change the fact that I am short and stocky fellow, but I can determine to use those characteristics. Although I can work on improving my balance, I may never be able to maintain my balance for long periods of time. Through being a traumatic brain injury survivor I have been presented with a set of circumstances that I am unable to change. Nevertheless, I can learn how to use those circumstances and make them work for me. I can grow beyond those circumstances through learning how to use my limitations to succeed beyond what may appear to be taller and larger than I am today.

You may also be a traumatic brain injury survivor, who has been presented with physical, mental or emotional challenges. You may feel like a short stocky person who has limited balance and ability. You may have come up against taller, stronger and heavier opponents or obstacles in your life. Consequently, you may feel overwhelmed and discouraged because you believe those obstacles can not be overcome. When I first started grappling and sparring taller, stronger and heavier people I had a hard time believing that I could succeed given my stature and balance. Through my experience I found that my ability improved over time through my willingness to not give up on my learning process.

As my Sensei shared with me, “What works best for me may not work best for you” I will share with you. What works best for me may not work best for you given your specific type of brain injury and disability. What I do know is that as you are willing to learn from your experience, you will find out what works best for you. Because you and I were created to be empowered beings, not limited doings we can excel in spite of our limitations. Our limitations and challenges are not meant to dictate to us, instead you and I can determine to explore and find what works best for us regardless of our circumstances. With determination and tenacity we can learn how to use what we have been given and in the process live the life we have imagined.

“If you advance confidently in the direction or your dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…you will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau

All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA

Living with a Disability through Commitment

Welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy you decided to stop by and visit with me. I am happy to be able to share this time with you. Life is an amazing process. Many twists and turns along the road. My experience has taught me to stay committed to my process. I have found that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Having a goal helps to keep me focused when I encounter steep slopes and switch-backs on my journey. Commitment then becomes the essential component when to turn back would be much easier.

I have heard a definition of insanity that you may have also heard. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. As a traumatic brain injury survivor as well as the recipient of an invisible disability, I spent too many years of my life attempting to be someone without a brain injury. I bought into the assumption that because I had no physical signs of a disability, I should not have a disability. You may also find yourself motivated to deny that you have an invisible disability.

When I made the decision to embrace my “reality” I gave myself permission to have my limitations and deficits without becoming a prisoner to those limitations and deficits. Craig J. Phillips

My commitment to my process grew stronger when I was able to accept that I am a traumatic brain injury survivor. Rather than attempting to be something I am not, I began to embrace my invisible disability. As I have grown in my awareness I have learned to empower my process through my limitations and deficits. I am not my limitations or my deficits. I am not a victim of my circumstances. I am not my traumatic brain injury. I am a traumatic brain injury survivor who is learning how to thrive with in my set of circumstances.

Earlier this evening I was able to spend some time with a friend of mine who is a 7th degree black belt. As we spoke the topic of commitment was discussed. He shared that people succeed in the martial arts because they determine to commit themselves to the goal. The goal is to learn to adapt to any given situation. I believe my commitment and progress in my martial arts training mirrors my commitment to living my life with an invisible disability. As I accept my invisible disability and stay committed to my process I am learning to adapt to any given situation and succeed.

You may have circumstances or situations in your world that may seem overwhelming. You may have an invisible disability that you have a hard time accepting my friend. You may have been misdiagnosed by “professional” staff that have in turn minimized your set of circumstances. You may also have people in your world that have a need to deny your reality. My encouragement to you my friend would be to accept your reality. There is no shame in having and invisible disability. Please read my 2 part series, Having an Invisible Disability – The Consequence of Denying Reality—Part 1.

Denying your circumstances will not change them. As you embrace your invisible disability, you will find courage to commit yourself to adapting and then thriving because of your acquired deficits and limitations — one day at a time.

All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA

Good Morning – Progress not Perfection

Good Morning and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy you decided to stop by and visit with me. Several years ago when I began training in mixed martial arts I heard my Sensei ( instructor) greet people with, “Good Morning”. The time of the day did not matter, as I would hear the familiar greeting, “Good Morning”. For a long time I found myself wanting to remind my Sensei — when I trained in the evening at the martial arts school – that morning was earlier in the day.

One day, while thinking about the, “Good Morning” greeting by my Sensei I had a spiritual awakening. Each day can be filled with new beginnings through out the day. Morning does not have to be the time before noon any longer. You may have periods in your day where you may wish you could start your day over. The good news my friend is that “good morning” can occur at any time during your or my day. We no longer have to be stuck by the longing of how we might have done things, earlier in the day.

Several years ago, actually in 2004 I wrote the below poem. When I pursue progress or excellence I am able to live in the, “Good Morning’s”. I know that more will be revealed with time. I may find myself discouraged during my day, but the good news is that I can start my day over at any time. I do not have to be confined by the time of the day. You may also find yourself discouraged during your day my friend. You may wish you could start your day over and push back the hands of time. To you I would say, “Good Morning!”

Progress not perfection

Bounding forth with color
Brilliant in display of care
Founded in the symphony of wonder
Laden rich with sweetness, as with the honey dew flower

Yet to be displayed in expression
The beauty beheld in splendor
Not interrupted by time
As the blossom of life faintly opens

Exposing the wonderment within
Parched beneath the pedals
Only to be rejuvenated by the creative flow
Pulsing through the heart of experience

Demonstrated daily, crisply stating
For today, I am enough
For more is to be revealed
On the horizon of the morning’s light

All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA

Following our Destiny through Footwork

Good morning my friend. I am happy you decided to stop by and visit with me. I have re-learned a valuable lesson this week. In the process of learning I found a renewed sense of serenity. The lesson encouraged me to re-focus my attention on my footwork and to check my motives. As I heeded what I was being taught, I was able to let go and trust the process, once again.

You see I had allowed myself to become emotionally invested in specific outcomes. When the outcomes did not occur I experienced some sadness and then discouragement. Through owning my discouragement I was able to identify why I was sad. My awareness encouraged me to take some action. I made the decision to let go of any specific outcome.

In essence, my discouragement proved to be a gift because my discomfort motivated me to find a solution. After I realized why I was discouraged I allowed myself to be sad. Through accepting and owning my feelings I embraced my humanity. As I embraced my humanity I was able to let go of the notion that I know what is best for me. Consequently, I was able to let go of the timing and the harvest.

When I accept my finite human limitations I am able to rest. As I rest in the process, I am able to trust that I will get what I need. I do not have to know the big picture. I do not need to force solutions. I do not have to get the cart before the horse. I do not have to figure “it” all out. Instead I can enjoy the journey. I can revel in the footwork while trusting the God of my understanding. I can relish in the lessons that I am learning without judgment and I can trust the process.

You too may have been discouraged because specific outcomes did not come to pass. You may have lost trust in the process, in a loving God and in yourself. You are not alone in your struggle my friend. My encouragement to you, as I encourage myself, trust the process. Do your footwork and then let go of specific outcomes. You and I do not have to figure “it” out. You and I can let go of our need to control the process. You and I can let the pieces of our destinies fall into place at the right time.

And in the event that you can’t see the forest for the trees, please slow down my friend. More will be revealed.

All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA