Traumatic Brain Injury and the Grieving Process — Awareness – Part 5
Posted by Second Chance to Live on May 31, 2008
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy that you decided to stop by and visit with me. In part 4 of the Traumatic Brain Injury and the Grieving Process, the impact of anger and resentment upon the grieving process was discussed. In part 4 I shared how my life had been negatively impacted by the anger that I turned inwards on myself. I then went on to share how denial sought through shame to thwart my spiritual and emotional energy.
In part 4 I shared how I discovered that my shame — fueled by my internalized anger – perpetuated my denial, negativity, criticism and a judgmental attitude toward other people and myself. I found that the impact of my negativity, criticism and my judgmental attitudes proved to be counter-productive to being able to accept my reality. Through my process I discovered that I desperately needed to address my shame, anger, negativity, criticism and judgmental attitudes.
Once I realized that I needed to address my shame, negativity and critical nature I found myself back in a familiar anxiety. Upon further examination I found that my anxiety stemmed from my fear of physical and emotional abandonment. In the process I discovered that my fear of abandonment was firmly attached to my core belief that I did not just make mistakes, but that I was a mistake. As I have shared throughout this series — for many years — I believed that I did not just make mistakes, but that I was not a mistake. Consequently, I lived in a state of shame.
As I examined my motives I determined that I sought to prove that I was not a mistake in order to avoid the dread of being physically and emotionally abandoned. My anxiety and fear stemmed from my core belief that if I was unable to make another person OK with me, then I could not be OK with me.
When I realized that I needed to address my denial, anger, negativity, criticism and judgmental attitudes I began a program of rigorous honesty. I found that I needed to examine the resentments that I held toward other people and myself. In my process, I found that by examining my resentments I was able to look at the patterns that I maintained in my relationships with other people and with myself. Through my process, I discovered that the resentments that I held toward other people and myself actually sustained my denial, anger, negativity, criticism and judgmental attitudes.
Please read Part 6 of this series by clicking on Part 6. Thank you.
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This entry was posted on May 31, 2008 at 2:08 pm and is filed under 12 Step Recovery, abuse and neglect, Acquired Brain Injury, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Bob Woodruff, brain injured soldiers, Brain Injury Associations, Caregivers, celebrities with brain injuries, cerebral vascular accident, characteristics of traumatic brain injury, Children of Trauma, Closed Head Injury, Codependency, Desert Storm Veterans, Empowerment Speaker, family, Friends, Gulf War Veterans, head injury, Healthy Self-Care, Invisible Disability, Iraq War Veterans, Learning, learning disabilities, Life, living life on life's terms, living my destiny, Living with a Disability, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, Living with an Invisible Disability, living with meaning and purpose, Meaning and Purpose, messages of hope and inspiration, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivaional Speaker, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, Ophra Winfrey, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, relationships, self-esteem, shame, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, Traumatic Brain Injury, Traumatic Brain Injury and You, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, traumatic brain injury in schools, traumatic brain injury Iraq, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, traumatic brain injury treatment, Veterans of the Iraq War, Vietnam Veterans, visual impairment. Tagged: criticism and judgmental attitudes, negativity, resentments sustained my anger, resentments sustained my denial. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.