Second Chance to Live

Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA traumatic brain injury survivor, master's level rehabilitation counselor, peer mentor, advocate, inspirational / motivational speaker and an internationally published author

Traumatic Brain Injury — Whose Pushing my Buttons? Part 1 of 3

Posted by secondchancetolive on November 8, 2008

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am so happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me my friend. Several weeks ago I shared a lesson that I learned about myself through my article, How I used My Frustration to Empower My Process. In that article I shared with you how I was interrupted and distracted by the facilitator of a support group meeting that I was attending — on many occasions. I went on — in that article — to share that over time I found myself becoming progressively frustrated with my experience with this particular group and the facilitator. I then shared that — upon being honest with myself through owning my frustration — I realized that in reality I was frustrated with myself.

By owning my frustration — rather than blaming the facilitator — I was able to own a part of myself that I had been denying.

Through owning my frustration and embracing myself I was able to ask the facilitator to call on me towards the end of the meeting — to allow me to collect my thoughts being that I recognized that I as a traumatic brain injury survivor I am an expansive thinker. Well to make a long story short, the next time that I was able to visit the group I again asked the facilitator — before the group meeting started — to call on me towards the end of the meeting as we had previously discussed. The facilitator thanked me for reminding her and told me that she would do so towards the end of the meeting. So towards the end of the meeting the facilitator called on me to share. Nevertheless, the group facilitator again cut me off during my 5 minute allotted time to share around the 3 minute mark.


Nevertheless, about 3 minutes into my sharing the facilitator of the group proceeded to interrupt and cut me off. The pattern had not changed which left me feeling angry, frustrated and embarrassed — once again.

Following the meeting I made a concerted effort to speak with several of the home group leaders to voice my frustration. Well, the home group leaders reminded me of the format of the group and that the facilitator was performing her responsibilities — as set forth by her role in the groups format. Nevertheless, I continued to feel frustrated and angry as I left the location of the meeting to come home. In reaction to my frustration, anger and embarrassment I found myself vowing to never go back to that group. During the next several weeks I spoke with my sponsor and several of my other trusted friends about the behavior that I experienced while participating in the group process.

My trusted friends kindly listened to me and then reminded me of something that I already knew, but did not want to accept. I am powerless over other people — or group formats — but that I can make a choice not to attend that meeting in the future.

Please read Part 2 and then Part 3. Thank you.

All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA

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