Living with a brain injury and Making Decisions Part 4
Posted by Second Chance to Live on September 12, 2010
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12 of this series please take the time to do so my friend. Thank you.
I continued to maintain the role of the scapegoat and the identified patient in the relationships — that I sought to maintain — because I bought into the lie that I was responsible for any and all restlessness, irritability and discontent in each of my relationships. Consequently, in the process of attempting to maintain each of my relationships, I readily sought to discard the parts of myself that I perceived triggered any irritability, restlessness or discontent in each of my relationships.
In my recovery process, I came to realize that I had discarded parts of myself to avoid being criticized, blamed, shamed, ostracized, ridiculed, talked about negatively or made fun of in — and out of my relationships. I discovered that I discarded parts of myself because I believed that my worth and value were directly connected to whether I received the approval and validation of the people in my relationships. I discovered that I discarded parts of myself in my attempt to control that which could not be controlled.
I discovered that in the process, I unknowingly participated in dynamics that perpetuated and reinforced the faulty belief system that sought to keep me convinced that I did not just make mistakes, but that I was a mistake. In my ignorance, I absorbed responsibility for irritability, restlessness and discontent – in the lives of people — over which I was powerless. Consequently, I enabled irresponsible and dysfunctional behavior — in other people and in myself. In my enabling, I lost myself as I attempted to find myself in people and relationships. In my behavior I became the identified patient.
For further insight, please read my 2 part article, Traumatic Brain Injury and the Identified Patient
Please read Part 5 for context. Thank you.
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12 of this series please take the time to do so my friend. Thank you.
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This entry was posted on September 12, 2010 at 3:24 pm and is filed under abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, Acquired Brain Injury, brain injured soldiers, Brain Injury, Caregivers, celebrities with brain injuries, Children of Trauma, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Empowerment Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, Fulfilling your Destiny, head injury, Identified Patient, Invisible Disability, learning disabilities, living life on life's terms, living my destiny, living with a brain injury, Living with a Disability, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, Living with an Invisible Disability, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope, messages of hope and inspiration, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, spinal cord injury, stroke, Subdural Hematoma, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, traumatic brain injury and frustration, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, traumatic brain injury treatment, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?. Tagged: Making Decisions and knowing God's will for me. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
