Empowering Your Life — The Difference between Humility and Humiliation Part 2
Posted by Second Chance to Live on April 16, 2012
If you have not already read Part 1 of this article, please do so before reading Part 2. Click on this link — Part 1 – to read Part 1 of the article. Thank you.
Humility teaches the individual that they are on a journey. Humility teaches the individual that on that journey, the process is more important than the destination. Humility teaches the individual that — some times with seeming serendipity — they are being led in the direction of their destiny
Humiliation on the other hand scorns. Humiliation’s motive is to control and limit. Humiliations by nature strips the individual of their uniqueness, self-esteem, self- respect and value. Humiliation demands justification. Humiliation seeks to disparage, minimize and marginalize the individual — at their very core. Humiliation promotes fear and insecurity. Humiliation undermines enthusiasm and motivation. Humiliation promotes fear. Humiliation cripples initiative.. Humiliation quashes hope.
Prior to understanding the distinction between humility and humiliation I berated myself on a daily basis. I believed that I was the problem and thus deserved to be victimized and humiliated by life and the people in my world. Consequently, I felt trapped by the voice of criticism and the clamoring of shame. My efforts to be enough were constantly chided as inadequate. Consequently, I developed insecurity, low self-esteem and low self-worth. I did not believe that I made mistakes, but that I was a mistake.
At the core of my being, humiliation chided me as inadequate and unlovable. My attempts to quiet the voice of humiliation — shame and criticism — only seemed to reinforce the impact that humiliation had upon my life. Unrealistic expectations kept me anxious and depressed. Humiliation reinforced the belief that I could not do enough to be enough. Humiliation stymied my being through intimidation. Humiliation consequently demanded that I be perfect before I could hope to find peace — with other people, much less than with myself.
Humiliation, rather than humility subsequently reinforced my sense of shame and inadequacy. Humiliation distorted my perceptions and held me captive to the belief that who I was and what I had to contribute in life did not matter. Because of my distorted perceptions — prior to understanding the distinction between humility and humiliation — I could not take the risk to be humble. I had to keep hyper vigilant. I had to be on guard.
With time and through my recovery process I cam to understand that humility validates and heralds my best efforts as good enough for today. Because I have learned how to trust the process — rather than trying to control the process — humility has been able to encourage me do the foot work and then let go of the out comes.
Through maintaining humility I am able to revel in what I am experiencing in the now — with out a fear of reprisal. As I let go of my need to justify, answer and defend who I am — I am able to be. As I am able to be I am free to create with out the threat of being criticized or shamed for my efforts. Consequently, I am able to focus on excellence — instead of striving to be perfect — with each new day.
In the pursuit of excellence, I no longer need to listen to the voice of humiliation or be humiliated by my efforts. Consequently, I can rest though my efforts and live beyond my limitations because I do not have to focus on my limitations. Humility allows me to accept who I am, where I am at today. Humility allows me to learn from my experience — rather than judging my experiences. Humility empowers my perspective and motivates me to learn from my circumstances.
Humility gives me the freedom to be who I am, where I am… Humility releases me to live beyond my limitations because I do not have to depend on my own resources. Humility teaches me to stay in the moment. Humility helps me to find my center. Humility teaches me to trust the process, a loving God and myself.
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This entry was posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:59 am and is filed under 12 Step Recovery, ABI: Acquired Brain Injury, acquired brain injury and feeling alienated, Acquired Brain Injury and Suicide, Adult Children of Alcoholics, adult children of alcoholics and traumatic brain injuries, Adult Children of Alcoholics living with traumatic / acquired brain injuries, Awareness Acceptance Action, brain injured soldiers, Brain Injury Concussions and Sports, Brain Injury Education, Caregivers for people with traumatic / acquired brain injuries, celebrities with brain injuries, Closed Head Injury, Codependency, combating brain injury isolation, Families impacted by brain injuries, Finding Freedom From Perfectionism, Finding Your Significance, Fulfilling your Destiny, Harnish Your Adveristy, Identified Patient, learning disabilities, Learning to Accept Yourself as a brain injury survivor, Learning to Love Yourself as a brain injury survior, living life on life's terms, living with a brain injury, Living with a Disability, Living with a Invisible Disability and feeling shame, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, Living with a traumatic brain injury and feeling shame, Living with an Invisible Disability, messages of hope, messages of hope and inspiration, Military Personell impacted by Traumatic Brain Injuries, Military Traumatic Brain Injury Support Meetings, Motivaional Speaker, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, No Longer a Victim, Overcome Being Bullied, Overcoming Societal Stigmatization, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Syndrome and Suicide, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, spinal cord injury, stroke, Suicide and Hope, tbi adults, tbi children, tbi families, tbi veterans, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Traumatic Brain Injury and being Bullied, Traumatic Brain Injury and Comfort, traumatic brain injury and frustration, Traumatic Brain Injury and Learning, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury and Suicide, Traumatic Brain Injury and What is my Destiny?, Traumatic Brain Injury and You, traumatic brain injury feeling alienated isolated, traumatic brain Injury in adults, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, traumatic brain injury in schools, traumatic brain injury Iraq, Traumatic Brain Injury Research and Resources, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, traumatic brain injury treatment, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, Veterans of the Iraq War, Vietnam Veterans. Tagged: Discovering the Possibilities, Enjoying the Process, Find Peace, Finding Freedom, finding hope, Finding your Identity, Finding your Purpose, Freedom from Judgement, Freedom from Perfectionism, Humility and Humiliation, The Power of Humility, trusting the process. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.