Approval Seeking, People Seeking, Anxiety and Hope
Posted by Second Chance to Live on January 24, 2013
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Thank you. Lately I have been experiencing some anxiety. My anxiety motivated me to do some thing that I have found to be very helpful over time. Let me explain my friend.
In my anxiety I felt led to write in a journal to process my thoughts, feelings and why I have been experiencing this anxiety. By writing – using a pen or pencil on a sheet of paper — I discovered why I was experiencing anxiety. I discovered that I had been engaging in an old behaviors – approval seeking and people pleasing.
Where as approval seeking used to be a way that I sought to cope in life, I discovered — through my process – that such behaviors only serves to produce anxiety in me.
In my process of writing in a journal, I also took some time to do some reading in a few daily meditation books. In the process of my writing and reading I remembered an important question that I need to ask myself when I begin to experience anxiety due to approval seeking and people pleasing, “What is my motive?”
In my process of writing, reading and reflecting I was reminded that I needed to ask myself several other questions. These question help me to identify my approval seeking motive or motives, the consequence of my anxiety and provide practical solutions to help alleviate my anxiety.
- What am I seeking to gain by winning this individual’s approval?
- What would I accomplish through feeling approved by this individual?
- Am I seeking to gain some thing – by gaining this individual’s approval – that I need to give to myself?
- What am I seeking to control through gaining this individuals approval?
These questions bring me to another series of question that I need to ask myself — as I continue to interact in the future with this individual.
- Is this good for me?
- Is this really what I want?
- Is this what I need?
- Does this direction feel right to me?
I am in the process of answering these questions for myself. If you find yourself engaging in behaviors that bring about anxiety in you – for whatever reason – you too may benefit by asking questions of yourself. If such questions prove to be helpful to you, please let me know my friend.
My encouragement to you is that you take out a pen / pencil with a piece of paper and begin writing. In the process of writing — processing your thoughts and feelings — you may find that this exercise will help you to identify and alleviate your anxiety.
In the event that you would like to be in touch with me, please use my Contact Page. I look forward to hearing from you. All questions are good questions.
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This entry was posted on January 24, 2013 at 4:16 pm and is filed under 12 Step Recovery, acquired brain injury and feeling alienated, Acquired Brain Injury and Suicide, Adult Children of Alcoholics, adult children of alcoholics and traumatic brain injuries, Adult Children of Alcoholics living with traumatic / acquired brain injuries, Awareness Acceptance Action, Brain Injury Education, Caregivers for people with traumatic / acquired brain injuries, celebrities with brain injuries, characteristics of traumatic brain injury, combating brain injury isolation, Families impacted by brain injuries, Finding Freedom From Perfectionism, Finding practical hope as a tbi survivor, finding your bliss, Finding Your Significance, Fulfilling your Destiny, Harnish Your Adveristy, How to Make Peace with God, learning disabilities, Learning to Accept Yourself as a brain injury survivor, Learning to Love Yourself as a brain injury survior, life challenging experiences, living life on life's terms, living my destiny, living with a brain injury, Living with a Disability, Living with a disability and overcoming being bullied, Living with a Invisible Disability and feeling shame, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, Living with a traumatic brain injury and feeling shame, Living with an Invisible Disability, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope, messages of hope and inspiration, Military Personell impacted by Traumatic Brain Injuries, Military Traumatic Brain Injury Support Meetings, Motivaional Speaker, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, No Longer a Victim, Overcome Being Bullied, Overcoming a Fear of Failure, Overcoming being Bullied, Overcoming Societal Stigmatization, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Suicide, Post Traumatic Syndrome and Suicide, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, spinal cord injury, Spiritual Principles, stroke, Suicide and Hope, tbi adults, tbi children, tbi families, tbi veterans, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain Injury and being Bullied, Traumatic Brain Injury and Comfort, traumatic brain injury and frustration, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Learning, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury and Suicide, Traumatic Brain Injury and What is my Destiny?, Traumatic Brain Injury and You, traumatic brain injury feeling alienated isolated, traumatic brain Injury in adults, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, traumatic brain injury in schools, traumatic brain injury Iraq, Traumatic Brain Injury Research and Resources, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, traumatic brain injury treatment, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?. Tagged: Finding Hope in Anxiety, Identifying Triggers to Anxiety, Solutions to Being Anxious, Strategies for Anxiety. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.