Second Chance to Live

Sharing Hope in the Face of Adversity — One Piece at a Time

Is the Group that You are In Hurting You? — Are you being Bullied? Part 3

Posted by Second Chance to Live on April 29, 2013

In my experience, I found the below to be true. I had no idea that I had been bullied in previous groups – through control and manipulation –  with the threat of being abandoned, ostracized, ridiculed, rejected and alienated. Because I was unaware and did not know any different, I allowed myself to be abused by the repercussions of “compliant conditioning” (my term). That is why I explain what I discovered in Part 1 and Part 2 of this article. That is why I would encourage you to read Part 1 and Part 2 of the article my friend, in addition to reading Part 3 of this article.

If you have not already read Part 1 and Part 2 of this article, please read Part 1 and Part 2 of the article, as both of these parts relate to Part 3 of this article. Thank you. You may read Part 1 and Part 2 of this article by clicking on the following links:

Is the Group that You are In Hurting You — Are you being Bullied? Part 1

Is the Group that You are In Hurting You? — Are you being Bullied? Part 2

And now for Part 3 of the article

Some Additional Insights

More over, when individuals seek to integrate socially, similar contingencies – compliant conditioning — can be seen deployed. If the individual does not comply with the group’s covert or overt expectations, the previously set trigger is tripped. The individual — again — is led to believe that they must discard parts of themselves, in order to embrace what is expected of them. In the event that such expectations are used to control and manipulate the individual — with the threat of being ostracized, rejected, abandoned, or alienated — red flags appear.

The red flags need to be taken note of, if and when leaders or members of the group begin placing increasing expectations on you with repercussions — if you do not comply with their expectations. If you notice this dynamic occurring, with increasing frequency; the leaders and members of the group may not be good for you.

In my experience, I had to become aware of these dynamics before I could begin to separate myself from the emotional and spiritual impact of such dynamics. In my experience, I had to separate myself from these group dynamics before I could begin to learn to love and accept myself – as an individual. In my experience, I had to separate myself from such group dynamics before I could begin to see myself as valuable — as an individual. In my experience, I had to separate myself from these group dynamics before I could begin to use my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for me.

In my experience, I had to recognize when I was being shamed into “doing” by such group dynamics – subtly as it may have been —  before I could begin to learn how stop “doing” and start “being” as an individual. 

In my experience, I have come to recognize that groups who use compliant conditioning to control and manipulate their members are not good for me. I have come to realize that these groups are not healthy for me. In my experience, I have come to realize that by physically detaching myself from these groups, I take care of myself.  I do not place any judgment on the leaders or members of these groups, as judging benefits no one. Instead, I have come to realize that by practicing the principle of live and let live, I am able to keep the focus on myself and go about my business. 

By keeping the focus on myself, I am able to attend to my business, as I feel led to by a loving God. By keeping the focus on myself, I am able to use my gifts, talent and abilities in ways that work for me. By keeping the focus on myself and attending to my own business, I am able to stay centered. By keeping the focus on my own business, I am able to stay committed to my mission and vision as an individual.

You may send your question or comment to me by clicking on this link: Contact Page I would love to hear from you.

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All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be, copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs CC BY-NC-ND

 

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