Second Chance to Live

Sharing Hope in the Face of Adversity — One Piece at a Time

Forgiving Yourself and Finding Freedom

Posted by Second Chance to Live on May 14, 2013

Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. Thank you for making the decision to stop by to visit with me my friend. In today’s article, I want to share some thing with you that helps me to remember to be kind to myself. As you read this article may you too remember to be kind to yourself.

For many years of my life I berated myself for not being enough. I chided myself for not being enough because I did not live up to expectations – other people’s expectations and my expectations. For many years I used my sense of not being enough as a reflection of not merely making mistakes – for not measuring up to expectations — but of being a mistake. Consequently, in my quest to eliminate my sense of being a mistake, I was driven to do more, to be more, in an attempt to be enough, however more never seemed to be enough.

Because I did not just feel like I made mistakes, but that I was a mistake, I lived with a sense of urgency in my attempt to prove that I was enough. I saw efforts to be more as an indication that my efforts were failures, which left me feeling like I perpetually failed in my attempts to be enough. In my urgency, I did not give myself the chance to relish in or celebrate what I was learning through what I viewed as failures. Through my process I discovered that my perceived failures were meant to be empowering opportunities, not punitive in nature; to harass and belittle me. 

Through my process, I discovered that I needed to lighten up on myself. I discovered that I needed to change the way in which I responded to what transpired to my living, moving and having my being.

Earlier today I read something in one of my daily meditation readers that I would like to share with you. The excerpt from this reader reinforces what I have shared in this article. Life’s experiences, lessons and opportunities are about grooming and teaching us things – to empower our process – not to point out where we have not measured up. By embracing —  my circumstances, lessons and opportunities –  instead of using them to berate, scold and chide my process — I am able to experience the freedom to forgive myself.

By forgiving myself — instead of berating, scolding and chiding myself – I am able to find the freedom to see things in a new light. By forgiving myself, I am able to find the freedom to make new choices.  

“You don’t have to hold your mistakes against yourself any longer. You don’t have to deprive yourself of comfort, joy, love and acceptance. It’s much easier to say, I made a mistake. This isn’t right for me. I don’t like this. This is wrong. Then forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself if you’ve done something wrong. Forgive yourself even if you haven’t done some thing wrong. Then see how good forgiveness feels. Forgive yourself and be free.”

Journey to the Heart – Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul Melody Beattie — Forgiving Yourself May 13 page 139. 

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