Second Chance to Live — Lessons from my Journey — Awareness Part 2
Posted by Second Chance to Live on October 19, 2013
If you have not already read Part 1 of this article, please read Part 1 in addition to reading Part 2. You may do so by clicking on this link: Second Chance to Live — Lessons from my Journey Part 1
As I mentioned in Part 1 of this series I believe that healing in my mind, body and spirit begins with awareness. With out awareness, I have little hope of being able to heal. In Part 2, of this articles I will share some of the awareness’s that I gained through emotional bottoms. As I mentioned in Part 1 of this series I believe that healing in my mind, body and spirit begins with awareness. With out awareness, I have little hope of being able to heal.
In Part 2, of this articles I will share some of these awareness’s that I gained through experiencing emotional bottoms. I share what I do in this article and through out this series to help individuals – who like myself have experienced these feeling. The good news my friend is that we do not have to alone in our struggle. We can reach out for help.
In my experience, I grew up feeling as though I needed to fix people so that they would not go away. I believed that I did not just make mistakes, but that I was a mistake. I believed that if the people in my life were irritable, restless and discontent, that I was at fault. Consequently, I believed that I needed to make them OK, so that we could be OK, before I could hope to be OK with myself. In the process, I moved from one crisis to another crisis in my struggle to find peace with the people in my life.
In the process of managing the drama — created by the crisis – I had no idea where other people stopped and I began. In the process, I developed and over-developed sense of responsibility. Doing became more important than being, and in the process, I lost myself. People pleasing, approval seeking and mind reading all became strategies for living, in an attempt to get through the gauntlet provided by the crisis and subsequent drama. As a bi-product, I experienced feelings of being alone, isolated and alienated.
I had a difficult time trusting anyone, much less myself. Consequently, I traded my judgment for the judgment of other people. In the process, my life became unmanageable. I had no idea how to talk, trust or feel. I found myself engaged in relationships that were emotionally unavailable. I remained confused by come close, go away and other double messages that many of my significant relationships communicated. I had no idea how to have relationships with people, apart from caretaking those people.
I had no idea how to keep the focus on me. I had a tremendous fear of abandonment. I unknowingly participated in shame based toxic codependency, in attempt to find myself. I found myself acting out of a family system role that I had become all too familiar with for many years of my life. I maintained the role for many years, assuming that the role would some how save me. In the process, I defended the denial system that kept me in the role, because I believed that I deserved to be abused for being me.
Please read Part 3 of this article. To do so, click on the following link; Second Chance to Live — Lessons I learned through my Journey — Finding Hope Part 3
As read this article and questions come to mind, please send those questions to me. All questions are good question. In the event that you would like to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you. You may send your question (s) or a comment by clicking on this link: Contact Page.
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This entry was posted on October 19, 2013 at 10:49 am and is filed under 12 Step Recovery, acquired brain injury and feeling alienated, Acquired Brain Injury and Suicide, Adult Children of Alcoholics, adult children of alcoholics and traumatic brain injuries, Adult Children of Alcoholics living with traumatic / acquired brain injuries, Awareness Acceptance Action, Brain Injury Education, Caregivers for people with traumatic / acquired brain injuries, celebrities with brain injuries, Codependency, combating brain injury isolation, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Empowerment Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, Finding Freedom From Perfectionism, Finding practical hope as a tbi survivor, finding your bliss, Fulfilling your Destiny, Harnish Your Adveristy, How to Make Peace with God, learning disabilities, Learning to Accept Yourself as a brain injury survivor, Learning to Love Yourself as a brain injury survior, life challenging experiences, living life on life's terms, living my destiny, living with a brain injury, Living with a Disability, Living with a disability and overcoming being bullied, Living with a Invisible Disability and feeling shame, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, Living with a traumatic brain injury and feeling shame, Living with an Invisible Disability, living with meaning and purpose, Meaning and Purpose, messages of hope, messages of hope and inspiration, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, military families affected by traumatic brain injuries, Military Personell impacted by Traumatic Brain Injuries, Military Traumatic Brain Injury Support Meetings, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, No Longer a Victim, Overcome Being Bullied, Overcoming a Fear of Failure, Overcoming Adversity, Overcoming being Bullied, Overcoming Societal Stigmatization, Parents of children living with a brain injury, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Suicide, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, spinal cord injury, stroke, Suicide and Hope, tbi adults, tbi children, tbi families, The Grieving Process, Traumatic Brain Injury and being Bullied, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Learning, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury and Suicide, Traumatic Brain Injury and What is my Destiny?, Traumatic Brain Injury and You, traumatic brain injury feeling alienated isolated, traumatic brain Injury in adults, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, traumatic brain injury in schools, traumatic brain injury Iraq, Traumatic Brain Injury Motivational Speaker, Traumatic Brain Injury Research and Resources, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, traumatic brain injury treatment, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries. Tagged: body and spirit, caretaking, double messages, family system roles, fear of abandonment, healing in mind, managing crisis and drama, toxic shame based codependency. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.