In my experience, I have come to realize that my circumstances are being used to encourage, motivate, empower and instill hope in me. My circumstances have and continue to prepare me for lessons that equip me to take advantage of opportunities as they become available to me. Opportunities — in turn — lavish upon me what I could not learn otherwise. These lessons provide new circumstances that give me experiences to teach me new lessons that prepare me to take advantage of fresh possibilities and opportunities. Collectively, I have seen how my circumstances, lessons, experiences and opportunities have been used to point me in the direction of my destiny — one day at a time.

In the Old Testament, there is a verse that stands out to me in the context of what occurs in my life. Genesis 50:20 states, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” As we look closer at what Joseph went through with being thrown into a pit by his brothers, sold into slavery, put in prison and then raised to be a high ranking official that ultimately led to preserving his family we see what did not appear to be fair, being used to bring Joseph to a position to be able to bless and serve many people.

What I have discovered through my process is that what I thought was meant for my harm, has been used for my good. Consequently, I have come to realize what occurs in my life God is not allowing to be done to me, but for me. With my awareness, I have come to realize that regardless of what occurs in my life (time) – accepting that I do not have the big picture — is for my good. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds me of this reality. “For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord, plans for good and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.” Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Because we put our trust in Him, we know that we are called according to His purpose. Because we are called according to His purpose, we can trust that all things are working together for our good. Because we are called according to His purpose, and that all things are being worked together for our good, we can be assured that God has a good plan for our lives, to give us a future and a hope.    

With my understanding and awareness, I am able to look for the silver lining – in my circumstances, experiences, lessons and opportunities — to encourage, motivate, empower and instill hope in me when things occur in my life that I may not seem fair or seem to make sense to me. In September 2008 I wrote an article to share this principle. I would invite you to read my article and let me know how the article speaks to you Why Dark Cloud appear in Life.

Here is my Contact page. Send comments and questions and I will respond to you.

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Click on the highlighted title of the article and the article will open for you.

Traumatic Brain Injury and the Elephant

Please take the time to read the article and then let me know how the article speaks to you. As you read the article and questions come to mind, please ask. All questions are good questions. Thank you my friend.

Have a pleasant and rewarding day.

Craig  

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The radio program  Brain Injury Radio with Host Lee Carlson. The name of the program that was aired last evening was called – The Secret Show. To listen to the radio program please click here: The Secret Show 

After listening to a brief advertisement the radio program will begin. The program lasts for 60 minutes. The portion of the program in which I participated begins at the 32:15 minute mark of the program and ends at the 43:00 minute mark of the program.

On my portion of the program I talk about building self-confidence.

As you listen to the radio program and questions come to mind, please do not hesitated to ask. All questions are good questions my friend. I look forward to hearing from you

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Nevertheless, I found that my efforts to do enough to be enough never quite balanced. Actually, I rarely felt as though I was enough unless I was doing. In the process of my doing, I developed what I heard Terry Kellogg describe as a human doing. As a human doing, I attempted to qualify my worth and value through constantly doing. In the process of attempting to overcompensate for my feelings of inferiority, low self-esteem and low-self worth, I actively participated in a toxic shame based codependent dance that had a regular set of steps.The dance went like this my friend. If “you” were not OK with me, I needed to fix “you” so that we could be OK, before I could hope to be OK with me.

Because I bought into the notion that I was responsible for other people’s irritability, restlessness and discontentment, when ever I sensed that people were out of “sorts” with me, I spent my time and energy attempting to fix and make  them OK. I struggled in my attempt to make people OK, because I bought into the belief system — that told me — that if I did not “fix” people, then they would go away and abandon me. My fear of abandonment led me to believe that if “you” and I were not OK, there was some thing wrong with me. In addition, I bought into the notion that if I took care of “you” then you would in turn take care of me. The dance, I danced was predicated on overt and covert expectations.

I bought into this notion for various reasons, but the bottom line reason was that I did not know how to take care of myself.

Consequently, for many years of my life, I frantically went about taking care of other people’s business in an attempt to fix them to qualify my worth, value and significance as an individual. Unconsciously, that is why I sought to be in a helping profession. My motivation was pure – in wanting to help people in their pain – but skewed from the perspective that I thought that by doing so, I could be OK with myself. As I mentioned above, I reached a point in time when I became sick and tired of being sick and tired. In my pain and anguish, I discovered why I was in so much pain. Under my pain, I discovered a tremendous amount of anger, resentment and disappointment – for a variety of reasons.

What made matters worse was that I began to realize that I had been turning this anger, resentment and disappointment inward – which led to my living with a low grade chronic depression. As I examined why I was experiencing a low grade chronic depression, I discovered that I had been living my life as a human doing — as described by Terry Kellogg. As I examined why I had been living my life as a human doing, I discovered that I did not know how to live my life as a human being. 

As I continued to examine my anger and resentment (s), I discovered that I was created to be a human being and not a human doing. I discovered that I was not put here to qualify my worth, value or significance through making people OK with me. I discovered that I was not created to fix other people and that a loving God is the only one who can fix broken toys, like myself. With my awareness, I found that my motivation to help people slowly started to shift from a need to qualify my worth, value and significance by making other people OK, to sharing from my experience, strength and hope because I am OK. With my awareness, I discovered that I could let go of the outcomes through trusting a loving God. With my awareness, I discovered that could stop being driven by a need to do, and start living in the freedom to be.

A freedom to be myself, in ways that work for me for the people who want what I have to give. A freedom to trust the process, a loving God and myself. A freedom to to do the footwork and to then let go of the outcomes. A freedom to let God be God in my life. A freedom to be a servant with out predicated expectations.

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In a nutshell, Jake at the age of 2 started regressing in that he stopped engaging and communicating with his family. Naturally, his Mom and Dad were concerned and had Jake tested. The test results revealed that Jake was autistic — characterized, in varying degrees, by difficulties in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication and repetitive behaviors as explained by Autism Speaks www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism.

As the interview continued, attention was drawn to what occurred as Jake pursued the things that he loved – studying math and science. To make a long story short, Jake continued to get better and began attending grade school. Jake dropped out of the 3rd grade and began auditing classes at the university and began getting – on a regular basis the highest scores on exams in the honor programs at the university he attended. . He excelled and obtained his undergraduate degree at the age of 14 and plans on beginning his doctoral studies at the university. 

The interview pointed out that Jake continued to get better in his social interactions and ability to communicated as he pursued what he loved – math, science and physics. To many Jake was probably considered to be a square peg at a very early age. What stood out to me in the interview was that Jake excelled in what he loved and by pursuing his “bliss” or creative passion, Jake got better and was proud to be autistic – as that enabled his to excel in what he loved to do in life.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.” Howard Thurman 

My encouragement to you my friend – as I need to encourage myself – pursue your creative genius and what makes you come alive. By pursuing what makes you come alive – and you don’t have to do this perfectly – you may find yourself improving on fronts that you never deemed possible before. Each one of us possesses unique gifts, talents and abilities that are of significant importance and and value. By pursuing our creative genius, we may find ourselves improving on fronts that we never deemed possible. My encouragement to you my friend is to consider the possibilities.

Please watch my video presentation by clicking on the title, Living Like a Square Peg in a World of Round Holes and let me know what the presentation speaks to you. I look forward to hearing from you my friend. 

“Insist on yourself, never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you only have an extemporaneous half-possession…do that which is assigned to you and you can not hope too much or dare too much.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If we advance confidently in the direction of our dreams and endeavor to live the life that you have imagined…you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau

Interview done of Jake Barnett interviewed by Morley Safer on 60 minutes. To watch the interview click here.

Here is my Contact page. Send comments and questions and I will respond to you.

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