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First of all, I want to thank you for visiting Second Chance to Live. Several of my friends have mentioned that they do not know how to leave a comment to my posts. As a service to my readers, who would like to leave comments to my posts, or would like to schedule me to speak or appear at / on your event, conference, in service, radio program or other venue I will provide a stream lined approach.
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Charlene Bruce said
Dear Craig, I found you while searching for information on TBI .
my husban was injured in 1978 as in your case there was not much done he was in a coma for 8 weeks and not expected to come out of it just before his mother was going to move him to a care center he made what they called a miraculous recovery
and was released. with no follow up or anything even tho his mother swore he was a totaly different person. his personaly had changed. I met and married George in 1985.
After our first year toghter. I knew there were problams it is like living with dr jeckel and mr hide.
We are trying for the third time to get disabilty for him. What happen to him was he was hang gliding and
hit a mountain head on at about 35 miles an hour it distroyed the helmet he was wearing. But now there are other factors damage to his neck, he was found to have lukimea, and we have been turned down time after time I do not know how to make these people understand do you have any info that might help ? We do not have a computer at home beacuse of trying to live on my income only but I have printed off some of your wounderful postings to take home to him I really think they will help a lot thank you for this site and hopefuly I keep in touch with you from my work computer. look forward to any help you might be able to send our way thank you so much .
secondchancetolive said
Hi Charlene,
Thank you for leaving comment and sharing with me about your husbands odessy. You are a blessing to him. That is for sure. I would strongly encourage you to get an attorney to appeal the social security disability matter. My suggestion would be to get a different attorney for the next appeal. Fresh blood may work to your and your husband’s advantage. You both may be eligible to receive SSI, which is different than SSDI to help with your expenses. I would encourage you to check with your local Social Security Administration office and fill out the forms to apply for SSI too. The process may take some time, but the benefit may reduce your financial stress and strain. No one told me what the difference was between SSI and SSDI at the time when I started my 3rd appeal for SSDI. I could have been drawing SSI while I waited to see if I would be approved to receive SSDI but due to not knowing I became ineligible for some reason. Lesson learned for sure. That is why I am passing the information on to you. Check into SSI and let me know what you find out Charlene. May take a little time but you may have some additional money coming in to pay for bills while you are appealing the decision to deny your claim. These are some of my suggestions with the amount of information you shared. I hope the information I provided proves to be helpful.
God bless you and your husband. If you have a need for further clarity, please let me know and I will attempt to be of service to you and your husband. Please say hello to him for me. Thank you.
Have a pleasant weekend.
Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA
Second Chance to Live
Robert said
Craig, What a great site. You were correct it is a blessing. Keep it up!! See ya at the “Y” Go make it a great day!!! Robert
Mike said
Dearest Craig-
I write this with tears in my eyes. I have been searching for home for twenty years. While working as a chef in the Virgin Islands I was mugged on my way home. I was hit in the head and beat up pretty good by a local gang.
I do not remember any of this.
I was found hours later lying in my own blood in an alley. I was taken to the local hospital where I was stitched up, released and categorized as ETOH (drunk). The next day my brain started to swell. As my speech and balance started to decline I was brought (forcibly) back to the hospital by my friends. At this time I became an ‘unclassified brain injury’. The hospital did not have the ‘expertise’ to deal with this type of injury. I was flown to another island (St. Thomas) on an unpressurized plane to have an MRI. The MRI was done but there was no one on the island that was qualified to read the results. They had the machine from federal grant money but no one that could read the results. I was flown to Puerto Rico (again on an unpressurized plane) to have the results read. I was put on the plane with no medical records. Puerto Rico sent me back to St. Thomas. Was then flown back to Puerto Rico with my records (again all on unpressurized planes). It was at this time 5 days later that I was classified with a TBI.
I stayed in Puerto Rico for 2 months (my father flew down to stay with me this entire time) before I was able to fly back to the states on a commercial flight. The cost of an ‘air ambulance’ at that time would have been more than 60,000 dollars and just not feasible at the time. I was another 2 months in the hospital before I was released. After my release there was months of speech therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy. Every day. For months. At 24 years old I got to do things like, learn to tie my shoes again, walk, write, ‘make cognitive decisions’.
At the time of my injury I was a professional chef. One of the results of my injury is the total lack of a sense of smell. As smell is very closely related to our sense of taste I could no longer do what I love and went to school for.
There is not a day that goes by that I am not reminded of my injury. I continue to struggle with things like addiction, relationships, and myself. I realize how fortunate I am to be able to do the things I do now. Extremely fortunate.
Frustration.
Frustration.
Frustration.
I know how I feel. I know what I want to say but the ability to express these things in a rational way can often be overwhelming. To the rest of the world I have no issues. I don’t limp, I speak clearly and effectively but inside I hurt. Its so hard. To appear fine, to be able to ‘act’ fine. To be able to ‘test’ well. I have the ability and curse to make myself appear to be as flawless as possible to everyone else. On the ‘inside’ this is not the case. It is exhausting. I suffer from severe insomnia, nothing prescription works for more than three days in a row and anything over the counter wipes me out so bad I cannot do anything the next day. Because i am honest with my doctors about my tendency for addictions they will not prescribe anything I may ‘latch onto’. Therefor I am forced to treat myself. To sleep I smoke marijuana and this has worked well for me for over 10 years. It is not recreational and there is no fun in it at all but it serves its purpose. This also adds another level of confusion to my circumstance as the work I do now is as an IT Consultant. The jobs I work usually require a drug test. When it is time for me to take on a new position I must stop ‘using’ at least a month before I can take another job. During that month I suffer insomnia (4 days wide awake is not uncommon) seizures as drastic changes to my brain chemistry from stopping cold turkey bring this on. Then the battle not to sedate myself with alcohol is resurrected . And so the cycle continues, and has, for years. And I am tired.
Thank you for the inspiration I have found in your site. I am not home but I hope I am closer.
I look forward to hearing from you at some point and hope we get the chance to chat. This is not a card I chose to carry but we work with what we are dealt.
Peace,
-Mike
Cathy said
Craig:
It was wonderful talking with you this weekend. It looks at if you’ve been helping many people with their challenges. I’ll look forward to seeing your bright smile again soon! Keep up the great work.
Cathy
alfie said
Hey Craig,
Great stuff, ideas, concepts and such. Admire your courage to share.
Arnie
Diana said
Thank you so much for starting this site. We are just starting to realize the extent of my daughters tbi from 4 years ago. She is only 16 years old and in the prime of her life and not able to enjoy it. We are just starting on her journey and will be by her side through it all. Regardless of those who believe her injuries. She is special and our daughter. Thank you for the hope and encouragment that you have provided. Knowing the hard work ahead of us, I can now see the silver lining! God bless!
Tony Neria said
My blog http://www.tneria01.wordpress.com has been created to follow the progress of my son-in-law Sgt. Sam Nichols, USMC. He was hit by a road side bomb (IED) in Iraq on July 24th of this year and has been in a coma ever since. He is at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda Maryland and will eventually be moved to the VA hospital in Palo Alto California were he will hopefully receive brain stimulation therapy. We are just in the beginning stages of learning about TBI and will be checking your blog often for education, hope and encouragement.
Thank you,
Tony (Sam’s father-in-law)
alfie said
You are a gift in the Universe good man, keep up the good work.
Thanks,
Arnie
Karen said
HI Craig–I feel like we might share a situation and I would like your feedback on it. Like you I am brain injured from an automobile accident and then again years later by a brain tumor. After several years of working and raising children-I feel like my injury caught up with me when I was in my late forties. My children are grown and have started building thier own lives. I have had several unsuccessful attempts at working and recently began receiving SSDI. I am able to live alone and take care of myself very well. I would consider myself a high functioning brain injury survivor. It seems like I do not fit in with the disabled group on most things and I do not fit in with the “normal” people on some things. I feel like I live on the fringe between both worlds–and never seem to fit in. My question–do you ever have this feeling? How do you respond to it? Your understanding is very much appreciated. Karen
SEC said
Boy do I know what you mean! As an invisible injury no ones knows you are injured. People expect you to be “normal” and when you goof up or something they start acting like you are a weirdo, or are irresponsible.
I checked out supports groups – but all of them had people much more severely disabled the I am, and were just not working for me. I think we are about the same age and probably have similar lives.
It has been 10 years since my accident and I have learned to tell people out right that I have a TBI, and I can have memory problems. It either turns them off, and I haven’t wasted any time with them, or it helps them understand and so accept my blunders.
Good luck to you.
secondchancetolive said
Hi Sala,
Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I am honored by your time and kindness. Living with an invisible disability can be both frustrating and bewildering. I have written several series on some of what I have learned during the 43 years that I have lived with an invisible disability — being a traumatic brain injury survivor. I will include links to those series here Sala.
http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2007/08/14/my-struggle-living-with-an-invisible-disability/ a 4 part series
http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2007/08/21/having-an-invisible-disability-%E2%80%93-the-consequence-of-denying-my-reality%E2%80%94part-1/ a 2 part series
http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2007/08/28/traumatic-brain-injury-and-the-double-bind/
I have had a similar experience with brain injury support groups. Many of the people that attend are more severely limited than I am. As I am writing this email it has dawned on me that I need to start attending the support groups to be a support and encouragement, not go to get. Wow. That is a spiritual awakening for me.
You sound like you are practicing acceptance my friend. That is fantastic. I am glad you wrote to me. Thank you Sala.
I do not know if you are aware but I have a Site Map http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/site-map/ that contains the articles that I have written for Second Chance to Live. Currently I have written 562, which are listed in my Site Map. Many of the articles have Traumatic Brain Injury and Living with a Disability in their titles. Other articles do not have those words in the title, however all of the articles that I have written contain information to encourage, motivate, empower and provide hope. I would encourage you to read articles from my Site Map as my articles may give you answers to questions you have Sala.
Have a good evening and God bless you and your family Sala.
Craig
secondchancetolive said
Hi Karen,
Thank you so very much for your time and kindness Karen. Most definitely to answer your question. I have written about the matter at length throughout Second Chance to Live. I am in a conundrum too on many fronts. I have been graced to have a few people in my life that understand and empathize with me. I have been on SSDI for over 9 years and had felt like someone all dressed up with no where to go. Read my 3 part Series http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2007/02/18/my-journey-thus-far/ and that will give you further insights into my process. In my more recent post, Traumatic Brain Injury and Ignorance I reference and leave links to 2 series, of which I would encourage you to read http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2007/08/14/my-struggle-living-with-an-invisible-disability/ and http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2007/08/21/having-an-invisible-disability-%e2%80%93-the-consequence-of-denying-my-reality%e2%8
0%94part-1/. My brother does not accept that I have a brain injury that limits my ability and that when I say I can not do something, he thinks I am using the disability card to justify my choices. My Mom accepts and is proud of what I am doing in and through Second Chance to Live.
In terms of society, I have a group of people through alanon that I have known for over 11 years that have come to accept me more, but not necessarily include me. I have been involved in Alanon, Coda, and ACOA groups for over 21 years. I have done extensive work on those issues. The pond of people that I can relate with and too has shrunk with time on that front. As you read through Second Chance to Live you will gain insights into my experience, strength and hope. I take advantage of the opportunities that I am given and refuse to see myself as a victim. I spend the majority of my time by myself, except when training at the Y or the martial arts school that I am presently training at towards my black belt in mixed martial arts. My Sensei has been so kind to me over the 6 1/2 years I have been training at the school. He does not charge me for classes. I accept and seek to live life on life’s terms. I believe more is yet to be revealed and that God has a plan for my life. I am taking my process one day at a time.
I get down at times emotionally, but I do not stay down for a long. Please read my post, http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2007/04/18/the-power-of-identification/ I believe you will experience identification not comparison as you read through my 190 current posts. Our circumstances are not meant to keep us down, but they are meant to build us up!
Thank you for writing and I hope the above information is helpful. Please feel free to stay in touch with me.
God bless you Karen.
Craig
Kerry said
I read what Karen said to you on Oct. 28, 2007 and I could just photocopy what she said. I have an identical story and questions. It is extremely frustrating. Although today is Sunday March 29th, 2009, I would ask the same questions. I too do not want to be a “victim”, so I fight getting government help. I am probably going to have to, but the thought of it overwhelms me. I can’t remember alot of the stuff they ask on the paperwork and my family definitely doesn’t support me in asking for help. Craig, HELP !!!!!! I am scared and confused. By the way, I wrote to you before and I was hit by a speeding car as I was turning on a green arrow. I was life flighted to a trauma center and was in a coma for about two weeks. The man had no insurance, but he was fined in court for speeding. I do forgive him, but now I am left to figure this mess of a life out for myself. Thanks. Kerry Curtin
Kerry said
Sorry, I forgot when I identified with Karen, that I do not have any children, but I am married. Also, I do not have a brain tumor. It was the rest of the story that I could identify with. However, I have always suffered from depression and my biological father committed suicide, so my doctor has a difficult time differentiating when my depression is genetic or as a result of the head injury. Even though I love the Lord, I do suffer from depression quite often and not having a job is even more detrimental to me. Thanks again Craig and God Bless. Kerry
secondchancetolive said
Hi Kerry,
Thank you so very much for writing and sharing what you have with me. I am not sure what article that you are referring to concerning what Karen stated that you can identify with Kerry. Could you please let me know what article you are referring to what you say that you can identify with Karen. Thank you. From what you have shared in your comment, I believe that I can identify with you. I believe I understand. Let me share with you my experience Kerry. I do not believe that asking for help — when help is needed — is being a victim. I believe God uses the government to help us do for us what we can not do for ourselves my friend. I would encourage you to be gentle with yourself. In my experience I fought against myself for too many years by denying my reality. I bought into other peoples denial systems for me for many years. My best efforts left me frustrated and as I turned the anger I had toward myself inward I became depressed. My suggestion would be to find a good attorney to represent you and advise you what steps to take to file for SSDI and or any other help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. I believe that asking for help is both brave and courageous. You may also like to contact the department of social services in your area to apply for other services that my help you. And please remember that you do not have to alone in your process my friend. You can reach out and ask for specific help.
If I may suggest, please read my post, The Power of Identification, http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2007/04/18/the-power-of-identification/ Thank you Kerry.
Specifically, I am not sure what I can do or how I may help you. Please let me know and I will do my best to help you.
Thank you again for writing to me Kerry. God bless you and your family.
Craig
secondchancetolive said
Hi Kerry,
Sorry I have not gotten back to you until now on this particular comment. Thank you so very much for sharing what you have with me. I am proud of you. In my experience I found that there was tremendous power when I came out of isolation. You are doing excellent work. I do not really think that it matters. Depression is depression. I do not know if your Dr. is a general practitioner or a psychiatrist. If your Doctor is not a neurologist or a psychiatrist please consider getting an appointment with a psychiatrist who has a specialty in neurology. I am not a Dr., a neurologist or a psychiatrist so I can not advise you concerning medical matters but I will share my experience. I was diagnosed with depression several years ago and the psychiatrist — with a specialty in neurology — did not try to split hairs. Bottom line was that I was depressed. People with brain injuries or I believe brain tumors have a change in their neuro chemicals — such as dopamine uptake and other neurotransmitters.
Consequently, our brains and bodies may no longer manufacture what is needed so that we do not have depression. Consequently, treating the depression seems to be the wise plan of action. In my case I started on Prozac, and went from 10 to 40 mg a day and the psychiatrist and I determined that we need to try another medicine. I believe we tried Zoloft next, but that did not work so Effexor was tried which left me very dizzy so I stopped taking that med. The next med that was tried was Wellbutrin — which turned out to be the correct drug. I went from 200 mg Welbutrin SR to 350 Welbutrin XL — I believe, The higher dose seemed to increase my anxiety so the Dr. suggested that we go back to the 200 mg Wellbutrin SR daily dose and that medicine and dosing seems to work best for me. I share the above information with you because you like me may need to experiment — with the care of a psychiatrist — with different anti-depressants until you find one that works for you Kerry
Per your information, my family discouraged me from starting using anti- depressants because I was told that my problems were all up in my head — like I was manufacturing depression. My Dad was right though. My problems were up in my head because my brain no longer manufactured the chemicals needed to keep me from being depressed. I am so glad some one in the support group I was attending — Alanon — took the risk to share how anti-depressants had helped them. By them sharing that with / in one of the groups I was attending, they gave me permission to check into anti-depressants. Wellbutrin SR has made the difference between me being depressed, sluggish and fatigued to having energy to live my life to the fullest. With that being said, I give you permission to meet with a psychiatrist and to talk with him / her about starting on anti-depressants. Again I am not a Dr.so I am not qualified to give you medical advice, but in my opinion why you are depressed is not what needs to be determined but what needs to be determined is how to best treat your depression. By doing so your quality of life will be enhanced — I believe Kerry.
Let me know if the above information has been helpful to you my friend.
God bless you Kerry. Keep looking up! Do what you need to take care of you.
Please do stay in touch with me. Thank you.
Craig
Roger Carroll said
You have great fortitude Craig Keep the Faith.
Second Chance to Live said
Thank you Roger. Please let me know if I can be of service to you, your family or anyone whom you know that could benefit from my message of encouragement, motivation, empowerment and hope. Thank you for confirming my friend request. If I can be of service to you or your family please let me know. I do not know if you are aware, but I have a Site Map for the articles that I have written during the past 5 years. Here is a link to my Site Map for my Articles http://wp.me/P3atD-1H. To date I have written 872 articles. I also have a Site Map for my You Tube Video presentations http://wp.me/P3atD-3B3. To date I have created a total of 49 video presentations. Please share the information with anyone whom you believe could benefit. Thank you Sir. As you read my articles and watch my presentation and questions come to mind, please ask. All questions are good questions.
I will say so long for now. Have a pleasant and rewarding evening and God bless both you and your family Roger.
Craig