Have You Ever Asked, “What is Keeping Me Stuck?” Part 2
Posted by Second Chance to Live on October 18, 2012
If you have not read Part 1 of this article, I would encourage you to do so as Part 1 builds upon Part 2. To do so please click on here: Part 1. Thank you.
In my experience, I have found that answers to the question, “What is Keeping Me Stuck?” came from my willingness to be honest — with myself. Through my recovery process, I discovered why I felt comfortable in the role that I sought to justify on a daily basis. Over time, I was able to identify behaviors that shackled me to that role. Consequently, I slowly stopped saying, “I am sorry” for everything under the sun. I was slowly able to stop taking responsibility for other people’s irritability, restlessness and discontent. I was slowly able to stop assuming the position of a “door mat”. I was slowly able to stop focusing on other people’s side of the street and start focusing on keeping my side of the street clean. I was slowly able to stop identifying with my assumed role.
Through my awareness, I was slowly able break free from the denial that kept me tied to that role. Through my awareness, I was slowly able to realize that the drama surrounding the denial hindered my ability and capacity to live life on life’s terms. Through my awareness, I was slowly able to break from from the responsibility that other people wanted me to assume — that was none of my business. Through my awareness, I was slowly able to begin being responsible to, but not for other people. Through my awareness, I was able to slowly change the way that I understood Who and how a loving God operates. Through my awareness, I was slowly able to view my circumstances and experiences in a new way, a way that is designed to build me up, not to keep me down.
Note: Family System Roles
From what I understand, Virginia Satir was the first individual who spoke about family system roles. Claudia Black and Sharon Wegscheider Cruse went on to adapt the roles to fit the addictive family. Here is a link to a pdf file that gives and overview of the five family roles as described by Claudia Black Ph.D Family Roles. In addition to these roles, there can be other roles that members in a family assume to contain pain, conflict, family secrets, denial and drama.
The roles assumed and maintained by individuals to cope with in the family systems will continue to impact relationships in adult life unless the impact of those roles are addressed. In my experience, I found that the role that I assumed as a child followed and continued to impact all of my relationships – personally, vocationally and socially — until I addressed the denial and drama that kept me stuck in a role that previously defined my life.
In the event that you find that you are stuck on one of these 5 or other family system roles, I would encourage you to find ways to break free from identifying yourself with the role. In the event that you would like to know how I broke free from the role that I assumed and identified for many years, please let me know my friend. I will share my experience, strength and hope with you. I have found that there is tremendous power in identification my friend.
If you have any questions or would like to make a comment please use my Contact Information
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This entry was posted on October 18, 2012 at 11:35 am and is filed under 12 Step Recovery, ABI: Acquired Brain Injury, Acquired Brain Injury, acquired brain injury and feeling alienated, Acquired Brain Injury and Suicide, Adult Children of Alcoholics, adult children of alcoholics and traumatic brain injuries, Adult Children of Alcoholics living with traumatic / acquired brain injuries, brain injured soldiers, Brain Injury Education, Brain Injury Education Video Presentation, Caregivers for people with traumatic / acquired brain injuries, celebrities with brain injuries, combating brain injury isolation, Department of Veteran Affairs, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, Finding Freedom From Perfectionism, Finding practical hope as a tbi survivor, Finding Your Significance, Fulfilling your Destiny, Harnish Your Adveristy, How to Make Peace with God, learning disabilities, Learning to Accept Yourself as a brain injury survivor, Learning to Love Yourself as a brain injury survior, life challenging experiences, living life on life's terms, living my destiny, living with a brain injury, Living with a Disability, Living with a Invisible Disability and feeling shame, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, Living with a traumatic brain injury and feeling shame, Living with an Invisible Disability, living with meaning and purpose, Meaning and Purpose, messages of hope and inspiration, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Military Personell impacted by Traumatic Brain Injuries, Military Traumatic Brain Injury Support Meetings, Motivaional Speaker, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, No Longer a Victim, Overcome Being Bullied, Overcoming a Fear of Failure, Overcoming being Bullied, Overcoming Societal Stigmatization, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Personal, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Post Traumatic Syndrome and Suicide, PTSD, Revealing your Destiny, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, spinal cord injury, Spiritual Principles, stroke, Subdural Hematoma, Suicide and Hope, tbi adults, tbi children, tbi families, tbi veterans, traumatic / acquired brain injury, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain Injury and being Bullied, Traumatic Brain Injury and Comfort, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Learning, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury and Suicide, Traumatic Brain Injury and What is my Destiny?, Traumatic Brain Injury and You, traumatic brain injury feeling alienated isolated, traumatic brain Injury in adults, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, traumatic brain injury in schools, traumatic brain injury Iraq, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, traumatic brain injury treatment, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?. Tagged: Being Scapegoated, Breaking Free, Empowering Self Esteem, Empowering Self Worth, family system roles, finding hope, Not being a "door mat", Responsible to not for, Seeing Circumstances Differently. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.